A few days ago, my friend Jesse and I were talking about what we want to do with our lives. "I wish I could live with a native Spanish speaker for a while… you know, I could learn Spanish and she could learn English," I said. Jesse concurred, "Yeah, I wish I could just learn Spanish and practice playing the guitar."
Five seconds of silence. That's all it took for us to realize the idiocy of our "I wish" statements. The truth of the matter is—I don't live with a native Spanish speaker. I live with five of them, six including 15-month old Camila. And so does Jesse, who gets to perform worship music throughout the week for our team and the members of Iglesia Adonai.
So, we asked ourselves, Why do we waste so much time wishing for what we already have? Why is it so freaking hard to be present in our lives?
I shared this dream list with my team last night. It's a totally unedited list of random facts about me. About who I am, what I like, what I don't like… and about the woman I want to become. But the reality is, I'm not entirely this person… not yet, anyways. And I'm learning how to be ok with that. I'm learning to just be here and now.
Without today, without an engaged journey through tomorrow and next year and the next, this person will never be anything more than a word document I created. A document I created while traveling the world dreaming about traveling the world.
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the dream list
i used to never get excited about marriage.
now i’m excited about having a husband, about having someone to do life with.
hopefully he will be able to choose a decent bottle of wine without my help.
he needs to know who he is. he needs to have passions and dreams of his own.
i want someone who is confident and secure enough to let me be my own person while helping to sharpen me as a woman of god.
i would like him to take initiative in things. i would like him to be attentive without being smothering. and i want to know him better than anyone in the world. and vice versa.
i love yoga, and i love running too, but only when i’m doing it often.
i like doing yoga to john mayer and david gray.
hiking and reading and baths and animals—love them too.
my favorite song to run to is “what’s love got to do with it?” don’t ask why… because i really don’t know.
i like singing in my car.
i’m not a phone talker, especially not in my car.
right now, the thought of talking on the phone while driving a car is blowing my mind. both seem so impossible and farfetched.
i'm borderline obsessed with searching for cool fonts.
i like crust on my bread.
i like to eat healthy—whole grains and vegetables and fruits.
if i have my choice, i like to eat a raw diet.
but sugar is my weakness.
i love ice cream. hot tamales are my favorite candy. and i can eat a whole bag of gummies in less than 10 minutes.
i could live out the rest of my life in a pair of yoga pants and a baggy tank.
i like dousing myself in lotion, usually twice a day.
i prefer color in nature, not in my closet.
i’m an experience junkie, not to be confused with the adventure junkie.
i’ll pay good money to eat dinner while looking at an amazing view.
i’d rather eat sandwiches on a picnic than have chicken tenders and fries at a franchise restaurant. i need my future husband to share this perspective.
i would like to study spanish or italian and become a better photographer.
i want to trek easter island and go sailing off the southern coast of france with friends.
i want to travel—a lot—and meet locals and hear their stories.
i’d love to write a book one day, but i’m not sure what it’d be about.
i want to skydive.
i need mountains in my life. and i need sunshine.
i love leather jackets and denim jackets and scarves.
yes, i wear denim on denim.
i want to venture through argentina in search of the country’s best malbec.
i could eat olives and artichokes and caprese salad and bread with olive oil and sea salt with a bottle of cold white wine next to the mediterranean everyday of my life. that’s my ideal lunch. jennifer, jenny and laura would be there too.
i love my sisters and want to grow into deeper relationship with them.
i seriously believe i have the best friends in the world.
i want to be christ to the world—in the way i was intended to.
and i want to encourage people to pursue their dreams.
one day, i’ll be a master in the kitchen.
mangos are my favorite fruit—i think.
i can drink coffee all day long.
i could care less about sports at this point in my life, which is weird. i used to be obsessed with football. i think that was more of a fomo thing.
but i no longer suffer from fomo.
mexican food is my favorite.
i love my family.
my favorite days involve some combination of exercise, coffee shops, friends, writing, books, music, great food and beautiful and/or interesting places.
i would love to amtrak the US.
i want to visit sweden, ireland, croatia, new zealand, bali, australia, alaska and spain.
it’s a dream of mine to take pictures of wild horses in the tetons.
there are certain songs that make me daydream. i should be more leery of listening to them because life isn’t about daydreaming. it’s about living.
my dream job—journalist or photojournalist for a magazine.
i’d love to be published by a world renowned travel magazine one day.
i may go to grad school when i get back from the race.
i love leather bracelets and country music.
i hate mayonnaise, eggs and ranch dressing.
austin, texas truly is my favorite city in the domestic US.
i’m a blend of student, contemplative and naturalist worship instincts. i want at least 30 minutes everyday to study the word… alone… in a natural, peaceful setting.
i’ll always need some sort of haven to escape to.
when i own a home, i want it to be one-story, maybe in the shape of an L, with a garden and a veranda… an outdoor living room and an outdoor kitchen too.
in addition to freelance writing and photography, i’d love to own a gelato and coffee shop or a bed and breakfast. a haven of sorts for people to come hang out, have community and pursue relationships with people and god. i’d sell art and photography and cards and jewelry there. and i'd like my friends to be involved in this dream.
i’d also like to study graphic design and create a custom line of stationary.
i would like to become a certified yoga instructor and teach once or twice a week.
i want to be discipled by a true woman of god. this will probably be the #1 thing on my to-do list when i get back to the states.
i also want to disciple women younger than me and help them step more and more into the people they were created to be.
i believe with all my heart that god gives good gifts to his children.
i believe that everyday is full of gifts. we just have to open our hearts to know they’re there… and our eyes to see them.
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Who are you? What do you like? What do you not like? Who do you want to become? What's your story and how does it play into His Big Story?
If you haven't read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller, I encourage you to do so. And if you haven't read Blue Like Jazz, maybe do that first.
Story seeking and storytelling,
Julie
