woke up.
thought it was a week day.
back down,
my phone says it’s Saturday.
couple hours pass,
the curtain comes back.
suns high
I rise
I’m awake, but not my mind.
yesterday I cried a lot.
my eyes are swollen, I forgot-
some pains I had.
I guess I didn’t forget them,
but I tried to mask,
because I hate when I see them.
thoughts I’m not proud of,
things that are tough,
choices that are complicated,
so my default is to stuff.
I know that’s not healthy,
I know it builds up inside,
I know where it’ll lead me too,
but I still believe the lie:
that I’m fine,
just need time,
I don’t want help, this problems mine.
and who am I,
can’t comprise.
I don’t need YOU to sympathize.
stop.
these things aren’t true.
there’s way better things in store.
but all of them have crossed my mind,
before my feet even hit the floor.
get my coffee.
find a space.
bring my voice
and my complaints.
I’m not rushing,
I am waiting,
please God, tell what you’re saying.
Saturdays. They all look different.
this one looks like this:
play guitar
pray a little
get distracted
throw a fit.
and that’s okay.
