I’ve heard there are three main reactions individuals usually have when they are scared, or confronted with something trivial. They are: “fight”, “flight”, or “freeze”. I personally have always wished I fell under the first category. I would love to just sock an issue right in the face like it was nothing. Unfortunately, I believe that I fall into a lesser-known category that is rarely mentioned, called “curl up into a ball and die”. (it’s a thing)
This is me; Julia Claire.
As I prepare to go on the world race, I think Jesus has been placing some things on my heart. A lot of them are things that He desires to chip away. The feeling of curling up into a ball and dying, is one of those things. Recently in my life, I’ve had a lot of changes happening. They are hard changes that I do not like. So naturally (for me) my reaction is to just completely shut down. It’s almost like I don’t even have a choice. My brain and body just decide “nope. this is too much”. And I stop functioning. This is the complete opposite of how I think my Father, Jesus Christ, desires for me to live.
So, lately, whenever an issue rises up that seems to big I hear Jesus whisper and say “press in to that.” and then I say “ARE YOU INSANE!?!?! I don’t wanna face that! thats too big”
And then Jesus asks, “Do you trust me?”
I’m still working on it (or rather, Jesus is working on me.) I know that HE desires for me to live in freedom. Jesus died so that I can have life and live freely, not so I can curl up into a ball and die. While it is possible for me to be a christian and choose to live in bondage, this is not what my heavenly father wants for me. He wants what is best for me. Because he cares for his children so much. I think He especially sees, that an attitude of “curl up and die” is not very suitable for traveling around the world for 9 months loving and ministering to people.
I am thankful for a God that doesn’t abandon. He called me to this trip, and He goes with me into it. He knows that I need a heart shift and a mindset change, so He is working it out. He isn’t looking at me thinking, “dang. This girl is wrong and so I need to fix her.” He’s with me saying, “my child, I want freedom for you because I love you, and what you have now is killing you.” My God is love, and that’s what love does. Thanks be to my Jesus, He’s a real one.
Thank-you all for reading! Much love,
Jules
