I heard the song “Way Maker” for the first time within week one of being in South Africa and I haven’t stopped listening to it since. The whole song is a bop, but there’s a lyric that says:
Even when I don’t see that you’re working,
Even when I don’t feel that you’re working,
You never stop, you never stop working.
This has become my anthem. So often I feel like God just isn’t there. I don’t feel Him. I don’t see Him. I don’t hear Him. I don’t think He’s working. This is how I felt in South Africa for a long time. But I know those are just lies.
In the three months I was in South Africa, I personally didn’t see anyone give their life to Christ, I didn’t heal anyone in the name of Jesus and I didn’t see one miracle. But that doesn’t mean He wasn’t working and that doesn’t mean He isn’t good and that doesn’t mean He isn’t faithful.
In fact, He’s so good and so faithful that He knew exactly what needed to happen in those three months. What I needed was personal and spiritual growth. I needed to be prepared for all the things the Lord has in store, and I wasn’t. So, the Lord used South Africa to break me down and build me back up his way.
My first three months basically showed me that I’ve never had a real relationship with the Father – one where I spend time with Him and really rely on Him. It showed me that I sometimes feel inadequate and unqualified to share the gospel with people and serve a God so loving and so good. It showed me that I don’t know how to defend my faith all the time or answer the hard questions. It showed me what community looks like – all the good, bad, and ugly… but mostly good. It showed me what it looks like to live out a life of being chosen and set apart and that it’s really hard to choose sometimes. It showed me what living a life of servanthood looks like.
I couldn’t see it or feel it at first, but the Lord was WORKING in South Africa – He just had to work in me before he could work through me.
South Africa that was packed full of relationships, challenges, victories, joy, laughter and memories that I will literally never forget even if I tried. A lot happened in South Africa but the best way I know how to sum it up is growth. Now, I am just pumped to experience all that the Lord is going to do in Ecuador – and I have a feeling it’s gonna be good.
All that being said I still need around $5,600 by mid-January to STAY in Ecuador. So, If you feel called in any way to donate, you can do so here on my blog or through Venmo (juliawashburrn). Any amount is a blessing and a way to partner with what the Lord is currently doing in here.
Love and appreciate all of you,
Julia
