For the past month or so, I have faced a lot of health issues. At the beginning of February, I began to have stomach pains. At first I didn’t really think much of it, I thought I might just have an upset stomach from eating something I didn’t like or because I was worried about some school assignment. It didn’t alarm me because everyone deals with stomachaches once in awhile.
By the middle of the month, something no longer felt right. I would go days at a time feeling this unbearable stomach pain, which came as a red flag. I went to see my doctor and they told me I seemed fine, but should watch what I eat and exercise more. Simple enough I thought, until my appetite was gone.
About a week ago, I suddenly felt nauseous and had no desire to eat anything. This past weekend, I was in so much pain that I went to the ER. I have cried so much recently not because of the pain I am in, but because of how hopeless I have become. I go to see my doctor and just wish there was a quick fix, but the truth is, it takes time and trust.
The good news: the doctors were able to figure out the problem! The bad news: we aren’t entirely sure what the game plan is.
Within the course of the next few weeks, I will be making a lot of lifestyle changes to how I eat, exercise, and most importantly, self care and love. I know it will not be easy, and to be completely honest, I already want to throw in the towel and quit. But I can’t.
I have to keep going and have to keep trusting.
This brings me to the point of this blog: trust.
I have a hard time believing that the God of our universe can help heal me and my body. I know it sounds insane, but it is a hard pill for me to swallow. You see, I like things done ASAP. I like immediate results and answers, and I want to be the one who is in control. BUT in the middle of all my health issues, I am not in control. Only God is, and I need to trust Him that he will heal me and help guide me towards peace.
In this season of trial, I have grown so fond of praying for everything in my life. Sometimes I pray out loud to myself in the car, I write it down, and sometimes I just think about it mentally when doing other tasks. I think this season is all about prayer and trust. Praying to Him and trusting that He is in control.
Who is my father? The King and the creator of the universe.
Who am I? The King and creator’s daughter.
“Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons and daughters through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight.” Ephesians 1:4-8
