Month 8. Romania. Less than 100 days of being on the race. My mind has been spinning and sometimes it’s hard to stop and look up from where I am.
Sometimes it feels like I am on a merry-go-round, but I can’t get off. LOL I know that is probably a funny image in your head, but truthfully it is how the race can feel. Let me give you an example of some things going through my head:
-my parents are visiting me next week
-team changes are coming up… AGAIN
-what will I do after the race?
-where will I live?
-am I the only one feeling this way?
It’s pretty easy to get distracted when there is a lot you need to think through and process, but it’s also obsessive. It can turn into an idol. It can become something you worship rather than the goodness of God and his character. We begin to become so frustrated with ourselves and God because we are trying to do the very thing we can never do: be God.
When was the last time something didn’t turn out the way you expected and you were angry or frustrated? It’s ok to admit it because all humans feel that way at some point.
I have been feeling this way for the past week or so, and have been fighting to be present.
There’s any number of excuses to come up with for being distracted, but one thing I dislike is when we don’t take ownership of our sins and distraction and surrender them to God.
Which is what I have been doing— not taking ownership or surrendering them to God!
Something I have been learning and fighting for this month is my time with God. And that’s hard at times because I get easily distracted.
Chances are if you start talking to me, a few minutes turn into an hour and I still haven’t read my Bible. But there is a grace.
My point in writing this blog is to let you know what I’m going through currently, but also an attempt to maybe try and save you from some stress.
You are not God, and you will never, ever be able to compare yourself to the job that He has. So I’m telling you: s u r r e n d e r.
Surrender to God, give it to Jesus and take ownership of your sin because there is only way to freedom: Jesus.
When we surrender and take ownership, all our answers are taken care of even if they don’t get answered immediately or the way you want them to.
There is rest and assurance in Jesus, and that’s where I’m going to rest for now and always.
I found this quote this morning that you may find encouraging:
“I don’t always feel His presence. But God’s promises do not depend on my feelings; they rest upon His integrity.”
-R.C. Sproul
Rest my dear friends, and look up from your frustrations to notice the gift he has given you: this moment in time.
