“Press In”
This was the theme of our last debrief.
Press in to the people around us, to Scripture, to trying new things and being bold in obedience to what God is calling us to do.
I sort of laughed it off.
We’ve been told to press into hard things over the last 9 months, so I almost wanted to roll my eyes and shout out, “How much more ‘pressing’ can I possibly do?!” I’m pressed flat, people! I’m running out of juice here coming up on month 10.
But I really needed to give myself a heart check.
I’m in my first week of ministry in Peru and it’s amazing. We live at this incredible little home in a mountain town called Cajamarca, and we have our own Peruvian mama taking care of us! Mama Filo cooks all our meals for us and loves on us just like our own mother’s would. She’s seriously the cutest little thing ever. I’ll write a blog just about her later!
At night, we preach and lead worship with the local churches and encourage them in their walk with the Lord. In the week’s to come, we will be traveling out to the local mountain villages to preach and evangelize to people! We will sleep in those villages, cook our own meals and be totally off the grid. I can’t wait!
While thinking about ministry this month it just hit me, this is my life. This ‘reality check’ has happened a number of times since being on the Race, but this month it means something a little different.
Sleeping on matted mud floors, meeting total strangers in a Peruvian village and getting to share about the greatest love of all time- This is my life. And it won’t be my life for much longer.
That’s a heartbreaking statement to write. I can roll my eyes all I want at “press in” or think of excuses to why I’m tired and done with being vulnerable and pushing myself to the very limits, but the truth is, this is almost all over. And it breaks my heart.
I will never live intentionally with five other women who literally live inches from me at all times again. I will never be in a place where every day we give each other feedback and encourage one another, out of love, to be stronger, better women of God. I’ll probably never have this crazy community that literally understands every facial expression and change of mood within a millisecond, or will sit with me for hours and listen to me cry about heartbreak and redemption and freedom and not even have to say a word, but I still feel so loved.
This group of women love me so well and the best part is they love what I love too! They love hearing me talk about my passions, they entertain me as I force them to listen to new obscure bands or tell them all my fears of the future. They pray about everything with me. They pray when I’m not even around for my family, my friends, my future husband and job and that I’ll be able to not freak out with culture shock when I go to the Chromeo concert at Red Rocks 4 days after getting home.
They love me so intensely. They love me like Jesus. They are literally a gift from God.
And that’s just my daily life in community. That doesn’t even scratch the surface of the work that we get to do every single day.
When am I ever going to live on a guinea pig farm again?? (current home) Or carry my ‘goodies’ around to fertilize mango trees? When will I get to sit with a 103 year old man on a front porch stoop, and not be able to speak a lick of his language, but share everything in common with him with just the language of loving the same amazing God? Shoot.. When will I get to hike with 45 of my best friends and shout worship songs at the top of Machu Picchu on Easter??
I mean never say never.. but come on! These past 9 months have challenged, moved, strengthened and changed me in the best way possible.
So when I think about “pressing in” now, my thought is immediately ‘heck ya!’ of course I’m going to press into these people and these moments!! This time has already gone by so fast, these next 11 weeks will go by even faster.
I don’t want to miss any opportunity for growth, or to be stretched, or to learn from the situations and teammates around me. I want to experience all that the Lord has for me and have no regrets about not running full speed after this life!
So now looking to the weeks to come- no wifi, only ministry, only these incredible women. All I can say is, Thank you, Jesus. Sure, it might be hard, I might be tired, but this is the home stretch! And I’m not ready for it to end. I’m ready to be present and to enjoy every single second I have left of this race.
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.
– Hebrews 12:1
I’m ready to run with endurance and finish this race well.
Mom, Dad, Ashley, Lamar, Evie.. Beirut!!! Thank you for loving me so well during this time. I can’t wait to be home and squeeze you up in a big hug. You’ve been the best support to me, and I thank God every day that He made you my family.
