I've always wondered, "How in the world could the people of Israel doubt that God could deliver them from their enemies in the Promised Land?"
Exodus is a story of miracles, deliverance, and an unprecedented show of God's awesome power OVER AND OVER to the Hebrew people. 10 different plagues that came directly against their Egyptians captors, the parting of the Red Sea, having 3 meals a day delivered to 3 million people LITERALLY from heaven every day for 40 years, and being led in the wilderness by a giant pillar of smoke by day and a giant pillar of fire by night.
Yet they doubted he would deliver them from their last obstacle from reaching he Promised Land that God was giving to them.
Now I get it.
It's just our human nature. No matter how much we are shown the face of unfailing love and unfathomable power, our flesh is prone to doubt. This world can grab all the truth we have about who our God really is and what He has done for us and twists it, turning our hurts toward doubt and asking, “Why doesn’t God ever do anything for me”. I am the guiltiest of this lately.
Don’t misunderstand me, I believe there is a time for contemplation on who God is and reflection on what He has done in our lives. Our questions will always be there depending on what our immediate situation is, because we don’t have all of the answers and we never will this side of Heaven. What I DO know is that when God says He wants to do something for us, to us, or through us our job is to be BOLD and step into it.
I know in my bones that this January trip is what God has for me. I asked to be used by Him and He immediately delivered this opportunity to me. Eleven months of service, sacrifice, and (I pray) sanctification. I asked God for His BEST in my life, and He has called me to die to myself and serve Him, living as Jesus did. Not as punishment or some kind of archaic penance; He called me to serve in this way because that’s HOW I come into His Best for me in this season of my life.
I refuse to be one of the spies who has laid his eye on the promise but yet doubts how it will be delivered anymore. I choose to have the audacious faith of Joshua and Caleb, so that I can enter into the promise God has for me on this trip.
My life is full of miraculous encounters with my Father and yet I have doubted. But Hebrews 13:8 says, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." Won’t He love me today just like He has yesterday and will forever? Won’t He deliver His provision that way?
I choose now not to panic or pout, but to persevere and prepare for the unabashed love of my father. I choose not to allow the enemy to steal what will be a victory for His kingdom and yet another pointed testimony for His grace and will for my life.
So God grant me this desire of my heart: to love like you, to live how you would have me to, to learn more about you, and to take whatever stage you would have me to!
