okay, remember that time i warned y’all about the whole “i’ve never had a blog, please forgive me if i slack on posting regularly”?
yeah…here we are.
it’s been about a month since i’ve posted anything. i have about 3 posts started in the “draft” section but have yet to finish them. (oops)
anyways… i’ll spare you the anticipation of waiting for the fundraising bar on my blog to sync up with the donations that i have received.
i am about $2,200 away from being fully funded!! this is so wild.
for anyone wondering what julia’s life has looked like in the last 30 days, i would summarize it as a combination of stress and unknowns, but also a combination of peace and a constant thirst. a thirst to be fully present with God. a thirst to be undeniably and wholeheartedly serving Jesus to my full capacity.
in the last 30 days, i have purchased my plane ticket to Georgia (woo!!), learned what it looks like to humble myself by sitting down with family and friends to ask for support, posted many, many online discussions for class, taken many online quizzes, but yet i still have an unexplainable desire to spend as much time with God as i can.
through all of this i feel a constant “push” to drop everything and leave to follow Jesus. a push to not worry about school, a push to not stress about making sure i spend as much time with my friends as i can before i go, a push to not try and plan my entire life out, a push to just worship and sing and pray and talk to Jesus as many times in a day as i can.
through all of this, i’ve felt conflicted. am i just wanting to quit everything and leave everyone because its easy? why do i suddenly feel like i don’t need to stress about literally everything that i have stressed about my entire life?
but then my friends stepped in, at different times and different places and shared things like: “julia, you just have a different aura about you” “your vibe is just something i want to be around” “you seem really happy and content”
and i realized, yeah, they are so right.
because i’m not fearful anymore of my friends and family forgetting about me while i’m gone, i’m not upset anymore about the location being changed to Ecuador, i’m not stressed about taking a semester off of school, i’m not scared of abandoning my campus ministry, and i’m not stressed about planning for life after Ecuador.
in the last month, i have pushed to surrender fully to what God is calling me to. not just Ecuador. God is calling me to more grace, more love, and sharing more of the gospel with my friends in wisconsin. i do believe this has changed “my vibe”. i’ve invited God to take control of my life rather than fighting him for control. this is where that push comes from. i’ve learned that i don’t need to stress about school or time with friends or planning for life when i get back from Ecuador.
cause it’ll all be taken care of. it already is. God’s got my back. and its so good you guys.
(my fav song right now is called “Shepard of My Soul” by Rivers and Robots. the lyrics have been a constant prayer of mine the last month…i encourage you to go listen)
