Here’s what the Lord is teaching me as I sit in Cambodia on Valentine’s Day/the halfway mark of the Race:
I don’t even know his name, but my heart aches for him.
I walk by his “house” every day and he runs to me. In complete joy with his toothless ear-to-ear smile, arms wide open, he runs to me and jumps on me. We laugh and play and share joy in spite of our communication barrier. He is the epitome of joy if I’ve ever seen it. At night, you can hear adults laughing through the roar of blaring music. He and his sister live in what appears to be a scrap yard. When he hears me coming down the road, he comes running from behind the rusted fence. I’ve never seen his parents around. He and his sister are always caked in dirt and they’re tattered clothes hang off them. They are skin and bones. He must be at least seven years old and he weighs as much as my three year old nephew.
I don’t even know his name, but my heart aches for him.
My time here with him is limited and there’s only so much I can do for him. But, I can bring him an apple and pick him up and play with him. I can’t tell him about Jesus with my words, but I can show him Jesus with my actions. There are a million kids around the world just like this boy and the Lord has used me to touch a handful of them with His love.
It breaks my heart to see and experience these things. I can’t understand why it happens. Why was I born in America with loving parents and a room full of toys when this boy was born into cyclical poverty in Cambodia with absent parents and no food to eat? I will never have that answer. All I know to be true is God is good and there is suffering in this world. God is a loving Father and His children hurt sometimes.
The hope I hold to is that the same God I’ve encountered so radically in the past year of my life, the same God whose love has transformed my heart and life, the same God who I’ve found myself in an intimate relationship with, desires that same intimacy with this boy. God is pursuing him and He wants this boy to experience His love so he can be transformed. My hope is found in Christ, alone and in a hopeless situation, this boy has the same opportunity to find his hope in his Father. A Father who loves him unconditionally. A Father whose heart breaks for His children.
I don’t even know his name, but God does.
God sees him and hears him. He hand-crafted this boy and He loves him. My heart aches for him and God’s heart aches for him too. At the end of this month, I have to say “bye” to this little boy, but as I go, Jesus stays and my prayers will continue to go out for him. I pray that this boy comes to know the God of the universe in deep and intimate ways. I know that God is relentlessly pursuing him and I pray that one day, this boy comes to realize just how deeply he is loved by his Abba Father.
