Preparing for the World Race is great joy of mine – in fact it’s become one of my favorite hobbies these days. You wouldn’t believe how excited I was to take extra pass port pictures or get vaccinated. You would laugh at how excited I was to go shopping for an ankle length skirt or a one piece bathing suit. I love checking my packing list and scanning Amazon and REI for deals. I love it because I am excited and the more I prepare the more real it gets.
There is however a huge part of preparing that I don’t really love – a part that is actually too real for me.
In order to go on the World Race, I have to slowly dismantle my life piece by piece until it all fits into a small corner in my parent’s basement. This is awkward, counter-cultural and very painful. Every time I sell a piece of furniture I feel like I am taking small steps backwards. I can’t help but feel this way!
Transitioning from being a college student to a self-sufficient, productive citizen in the city was a long, rocky, uphill road with all kinds of unexpected curve balls. Come late April, I will pile what possessions I can fit in my car, say goodbye to all the incredible friendships I completely poured myself into, shake hands with the bosses I have worked so hard to please and drive 10 hours back to Georgia. I even have to turn in my DC license for a GA one to get a visa to India. (long story)
Why would I do all THIS to myself?!
The total 19 months I’ll have spent in DC have collectively been the richest season of my life. This time is full in every way possible and I have experienced more redemption and transformation than any other period in my life.
I love the room I live in, the view from the window five floors up over looking Rock Creek Park. I love chatting with my roommate for hours. I love being walking distance to a small group of incredibly thoughtful friends equally perusing Christ in one direction and a whole Church of people like this in the other direction. I love that my friend Laura is literally one door down the hall. I love that last Tuesday my small group got together with three other groups and spent an hour-and-a-half singing out to our Creator. I love educating people about homelessness at Friendship Place. I love having my cousin so close and I even don’t mind when she makes me do circuit training on Saturday mornings – well actually jury’s still out on that.
The thing about my life in DC (though it may be rich and full) is that it has become so incredibly comfortable. God’s clever right?! He’s called me to the World Race – possibly the most uncomfortable experience I can think of, an experience where I am sure He will more often than not be the only comfort (that and the 10 packs of my favorite deodorant I am planning on bringing.)
So despite my sadness for leaving something so good, I have never felt more sure I was called to do so. Leaving for the World Race is a huge step, a massive leap really! But what I am struggling with the most is not the leap of faith but the before moments. The slow preparation that feels like constantly pressing the undo button over and over until the outside perspective of my life seems as if I’ve made no forward movement at all.
This is how it feels but I am constantly trying to remind myself of what is really happening here. To do that I draw comfort from one of my favorite things – DANCE!
These days my dance life consists of watching Dance Moms and getting my groove on in my apartment, the grocery store and a variety of other public places (AKA anywhere music can be heard.) However you might not know that I have a pretty extensive dance background in the traditional sense.
I competed with a company in high school and also captained the varsity dance team. As a dancer, I know what is required to take not only a powerful leap, but a beautiful one. If I excelled at anything in dance it was leaping! I have quite long legs and I could really power off the ground. When I was 17 I even got an award called “Lovely Leaps!”
The thing about leaps is they require the proper preparation. If you simply do a leap from a standing position (which does requires a lot of strength) your efforts may shoot you up into the sky, but you will inevitably land right back in the same spot you started from. However, if you want to leap well across the stage you can’t simply start with a forward motion. Proper form requires the leading foot to actually go behind you, stepping backwards then taking a deep breath, sashaying forward and ultimately leaping both upward and forward landing in a completely new spot.
So dance has taught me that if we want to take that breath-taking leap forward we absolutely must take a step or two backwards to prepare ourselves. Lived out, this feels and looks confusing and honestly hurts a lot, but that’s what faith looks like.
Life with God can be crazy at times (possibly all the time?) but He writes the best stories so I will continue to take whatever steps He requires to live out what He has for me!
