I found out today that the wife (Anna) of an ex-colleague of mine
years ago passed away yesterday after battling cancer. When I found
out, i was taken aback and everything sort of just froze as thousands
of thoughts raced through my mind.
years ago passed away yesterday after battling cancer. When I found
out, i was taken aback and everything sort of just froze as thousands
of thoughts raced through my mind.
I was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer 2 years ago. So rare
that the oncologist community had a field day with my case because I
could be their research subject for they type of cancer it was. After a
pretty big surgery, the cancerous tumour was removed and after a series
of tests and retests, it was confirmed that the tumour had not spread
anywhere else. Despite the rarity of the type of cancer I had in my
body, I was fully recovered and was spared any radiation or
chemotherapy. I know that it was purely by God’s grace that I healed
so quickly, even the doctors were amazed how fast I recovered after my
surgery.
that the oncologist community had a field day with my case because I
could be their research subject for they type of cancer it was. After a
pretty big surgery, the cancerous tumour was removed and after a series
of tests and retests, it was confirmed that the tumour had not spread
anywhere else. Despite the rarity of the type of cancer I had in my
body, I was fully recovered and was spared any radiation or
chemotherapy. I know that it was purely by God’s grace that I healed
so quickly, even the doctors were amazed how fast I recovered after my
surgery.
I found out that Anna was diagnosed with cancer shortly after my
surgery, she just had a baby when she found out. I had lost touch with
the colleague by then, I heard through other friends. I had thought
about her from time to time wondering how she was doing. I naievly
assumed she would have a happy ending with her battle also or maybe I
didn’t want to think about the reality that cancer does kill. The news
shook me. It could have been me that lost the battle. It hit me hard to
hear the news and to realize how lucky and blessed I am to be in good
health again – all because of God’s grace and mercy. But why did God
choose me and not her to spare? I cried for the child she had to leave
behind, i cried for her husband who is now a single parent. I cried
because they did not know God and could not find comfort in Him because they don’t know Him. How is it fair that a mother of a four year old is taken away? As a follower of
Christ, I know the textbook answer. But I also didn’t want to discount
my emotions – a whole mixed bag of sad, angry, confused, thankful. It
was hard to reconcile these emotions and my faith that God knows best.
surgery, she just had a baby when she found out. I had lost touch with
the colleague by then, I heard through other friends. I had thought
about her from time to time wondering how she was doing. I naievly
assumed she would have a happy ending with her battle also or maybe I
didn’t want to think about the reality that cancer does kill. The news
shook me. It could have been me that lost the battle. It hit me hard to
hear the news and to realize how lucky and blessed I am to be in good
health again – all because of God’s grace and mercy. But why did God
choose me and not her to spare? I cried for the child she had to leave
behind, i cried for her husband who is now a single parent. I cried
because they did not know God and could not find comfort in Him because they don’t know Him. How is it fair that a mother of a four year old is taken away? As a follower of
Christ, I know the textbook answer. But I also didn’t want to discount
my emotions – a whole mixed bag of sad, angry, confused, thankful. It
was hard to reconcile these emotions and my faith that God knows best.
I went running after i came home, i ran as hard and as long as i could to work off my energy. I began to think about how I need to prepare myself for what we will see in the coming year. My reaction to Anna’s death may be magnified when we see orphans dying of Aids in Africa, or families living in Rubbish Mountain in Cambodia or prostitutes feeling they’re trapped in the lives that they live. I don’t mean prepare in the sense of trying to program my emotions, but prepare by really seeing God’s hand in all situations despite my mixed emotions. Situations like Anna’s and in the situations that we will encounter.
I conclude my day with a thankful thought:
Thank you God for the gift of Life, not just my physical life, but thank YOU for the eternal life that you’ve given to us.
