Epiphany!

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EPIPHANY! Written @ 11pm on August 4, 2014…if you don’t read this, at least read the quotes at the bottom…love them!

Oh my goodness, so I just had an epiphany!  Interesting timing because I am supposed to be asleep right now, but awesome timing because it would never be a bad time for this!

SO, I had a rough morning.  For some reason, my brain was attacking me in every way possible.  Bringing up everything and anything I could do better, should have done better, who probably hated me, including God, etc.  It. Was. Awful.  Real, and awful, and intense.  You might be someone who believes in spiritual battle.  You might not.  I’m on the side of both.  We each have areas that are buttons that are easier struggles and at the same time I believe that we have an enemy who seeks to destroy us…it’s in the Bible and that book, well, it’s a life changer…in an awesome way that you don’t want to miss out on.  Try it sometime :o).  

So while in a battle like this morning, it can be very hard to see clearly.  Thank God for praise music (which actually, I couldn’t get to play today :oP, usually a help), Truth in God’s Word (Bible), dear friends and family whom you can simply be real with and walk through life with, and I’ll start and end with Him…thank God for God.

And now, when I’m about to head to sleep, as I truly believe when we’re worn down there’s a much better chance for all of this to happen and I happen to be a person who wishes I could just take a sleeping pill…like a pill that makes it seem like you’ve slept past an alarm until you’re good and ready to get up even if you haven’t slept a wink…wow, just realized that sentence was still going…to continue…when I’m about to head to sleep, I have an epiphany!

This morning I asked based on all the things I could have done, should have, if only I would have, and then the defeatist thoughts on top of that…for God to work everything to more good than if it hadn’t happened!  And it wasn’t even bad stuff, just stupid perfectionism (what in the world would perfect look like anyways?  We’re not the boss of that.) and condemnation kicking in!  Of course, had to reaffirm that prayer throughout the day and asked others to pray, too, and had a delightful time with a dear friend and her adorable baby…friends and babies are powerful weapons against mind attacks ;o).  If we let them in and just be where we are.  There’s this crazy pull to keep it in and sometimes I have, and sometimes, it’ll work quickly and effectively to simply say no to the attack and work it out with Jesus time, but man, an intense attack is broken when we walk together and just say it like it is, realize that there is no struggle uncommon to man, aka the enemy is not creative but likes to make us think he is, and then we all get encouraged by the victory.

Tonight after some sweet time with the roomies in which we called on the power of Jesus’ name for all of us in areas of attack, I had a wonderful, continued calm and YES, it’s finally time for the epiphany!!!

It all got turned around and epiphanied for future reference!  Instead of a situation that could have been SO much better by my thoughts or expectations, it was awesome to realize that I should GET EXCITED when this happens (not that I can’t always put my best foot forward…but in freedom and fun, not out of fear or pressure on myself or from others perceived expectations)!  Why should I get excited when things seem so weird or strange or not as good as I’d have liked?  BECAUSE GOD IS GOING TO ROCK IT!  Like a kid in a candy shop to see what He does!  This morning I asked Him to please use everything for more good than if it hadn’t happened.  You want to know His response?  “I’m on it!”  So, I REJOICE when something looks confusing, or no bueno, or I was an idiot, because He promises to work all to the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose!  YEAH!  So, not just “deal with it”, or hope nonchalantly or have the well-I-guess-it-might-be-alright attitude…EXCITED!  Humbly rejoicing that I possibly botched (if it involves having to ask forgiveness and try to reconcile, my goodness, do that first and foremost…after repenting to God and then…) do a little dance knowing that the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE is big enough to just rest in!  For all eternity.  Cuz see, these lives, they are not our own.  We are loved and Jesus died for us and now…everything is bonus!  We seek Him, we won’t do everything perfectly…but HE KNOWS THAT.  And He still loves us.  Unreal.  In those times of battle and seeming defeat, He does not have a look of disappointment on His face…it is a look of love and longing for us to simply take His hand and walk with Him.  This epiphany is may be one you’ve already internalized.  I’ve learned it over the years in various forms and angles, but sometimes even things we’ve learned before in one way, shape, or form, or in a specific situation, take on new and deeper meaning in another…this one is pretty raw…and it makes a lot more sense out of a seemingly fluffy verse, “Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS, AND AGAIN…I say REJOICE.” Oh my, and as I looked it up, I never so clearly saw, grasped how all the rest of this chapter is related to the initial call to REJOICE!  Look at this in light of anxiety, mental beat up, feeling unworthy to come to God (guess what, He’s already near :o)), etc…Philippians 4:4-9…

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

 

I’ve always loved Matthew Henry’s commentaries…if you are still going, way to go and here’s another little nugget for you…

4:2-9 Let believers be of one mind, and ready to help each other. As the apostle had found the benefit of their assistance, he knew how comfortable it would be to his fellow-labourers to have the help of others. Let us seek to give assurance that our names are written in the book of life. Joy in God is of great consequence in the Christian life; and Christians need to be again and again called to it. It more than outweighs all causes for sorrow. Let their enemies perceive how moderate they were as to outward things, and how composedly they suffered loss and hardships. The day of judgment will soon arrive, with full redemption to believers, and destruction to ungodly men. There is a care of diligence which is our duty, and agrees with a wise forecast and due concern; but there is a care of fear and distrust, which is sin and folly, and only perplexes and distracts the mind. As a remedy against perplexing care, constant prayer is recommended. Not only stated times for prayer, but in every thing by prayer. We must join thanksgivings with prayers and supplications; not only seek supplies of good, but own the mercies we have received. God needs not to be told our wants or desires; he knows them better than we do; but he will have us show that we value the mercy, and feel our dependence on him. The peace of God, the comfortable sense of being reconciled to God, and having a part in his favour, and the hope of the heavenly blessedness, are a greater good than can be fully expressed. This peace will keep our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus; it will keep us from sinning under troubles, and from sinking under them; keep us calm and with inward satisfaction. Believers are to get and to keep a good name; a name for good things with God and good men. We should walk in all the ways of virtue, and abide therein; then, whether our praise is of men or not, it will be of God. The apostle is for an example. His doctrine and life agreed together. The way to have the God of peace with us, is to keep close to our duty. All our privileges and salvation arise in the free mercy of God; yet the enjoyment of them depends on our sincere and holy conduct. These are works of God, pertaining to God, and to him only are they to be ascribed, and to no other, neither men, words, nor deeds.

 

Heading to sleep with a deep gratitude for the attack leading to such a beautiful, deeper realization.  If you’re reading this and it makes sense to you…awesome.  If you’re reading it and it doesn’t…first of all, if this isn’t or hasn’t ever been your battle, then rejoice that it’s not :o), and second of all, I am saying a prayer that whatever might be your battle you can find resolve and JOY in the midst of it!  Because this battle…well, it’s already won!  Now we just get to walk, run, and dance it out!

Goodnight dear one.  Thanks for walking this out with me :o).  Vulnerability class 101…aka The World Race and blogging.  Praying for you, too!

End with a quote I saw today…”Giving up on a goal because of a setback is like slashing your other 3 tires because you got a flat!” Perspective…:o).  If you’re going after something new get ready for some “failure”!  There’s another quote that’s one of my favorite…”He who never made a mistake never tried anything new!”

 

God bless y’all!  Go out there and make some mistakes ;o)!  The epiphanies are worth it :o)!

Julia