My dear team and prayer family,
I have missed writing with you! Have you ever been in a season of pain, hurt, and loss? Something (or a series of things) that hits you unaware, strips confidence and joy, causes you to have to grieve and yet fight to remember the many reasons to rejoice, and requires much trust in the God that has walked personally with you through many storms and peaks? There have been times of total beauty and laughter over the last few months and there have been points of unexpected, intense struggle. I’m remembering to simply write what I want to remember and I want to remember simply because.
Hopefully, over the next bit of time I will be able to relay more stories to update you on Malaysia, the Philippines, and Mongolia…and even some other precious people and experiences from other countries…they are worth sharing!
I love you, I am so grateful for you, and I am praying for you. Your prayers are felt and heard. I just met a girl named Ella…a creative, dear soul who has yet to read this, but has unintentionally challenged me to post this very personal, very freeing sort of poem that was written along the way. Here is a bit of my heart. Praying for yours, whether in a season of joy or difficulty…or both.
My heart, it pains within me
It hurts to go through this time
Yet the God of the “instead”
Has more than being “fine”
He wants us joyful and free
No matter what may be around
I am not mine, you see
But seen when in Him found
My heart, it rejoices within me
For “weakness” is His strength
Don’t ever let that be taken
His love always goes the length
He is my joy and freedom
No matter what I see
For He is always around
And I am clothed in His majesty
It’s not about me at all
It’s all about His glory
He is completely more than able
To work out my life, His story
I love Him, I love others
I give Him my whole heart
My God, my Savior, my Love
Does not want me only in part
Do I have rights to save me?
Do I have rights to hold on?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Give all into His palm
It does not matter if I am right
It does not matter how it works out
What matters is my heart
The enemy wants me, in anger, to shout
Yet my God just wants me open
He wants me delighting in life
He calls me simply to love Him
And to love without hint of strife
He’s big enough to move
He does not need my aid
For He is my great Redeemer
I only need to praise
He calls me to await
He is so true, so mighty
My heart found completely in Him
Is held and not held lightly
I am His, beautiful, cared for
His arms are open wide
Lord, forgive me of my sin
Only in You do I need to reside
Pride, fear, anger, hate
You have no place in me
Keeping you within
Will only kill this epic story
For the God of time is watching
He sees all pieces in play
It’s not about what I want
For He knows the hour and day
What does He ask of me?
What is His only request?
Be anxious about nothing
Give Me everything and rest
Do not play into the enemy’s hand
Stay in the glow of your Savior
Release the wrong that has been done
And know you walk in His favor
If you’re still reading, I want you to know that our God is BIG. He is all. We see this world, He sees eternity. He speaks while we cry out. He molds us, He makes us, He entrusts us with more than we think we can handle, but never more than He can. He is our confidant, our purpose, our life…and for that, well, we can LIVE. And more than that, we can know that He is faithful. We are not promised to know how He is working, just that He is. He is not predictable, dear ones, but He is trustworthy. And His heart is not just for us just as we are, but for each and every person, faults, wrongs, and all, whom He weaves into our story. That is what He calls us to, as well…His heart. He is the Author, and His promise is that He is working all for good. It’s a beautiful thing.
God bless you, dear fam. He already is…take a moment to look for it :o).
Some resources, especially if you are in a tough season…
Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard
The Practice of Rest by Graham Cooke- audio for iTunes
Enemies of the Heart by Andy Stanley
The Final Quest by Rick Joyner
We just left Mongolia and are now just outside of Beijing, China! Loving it!
Love and lots of hugs :o)!
Julia
Beautiful girls…love them and miss them so much. This was right before we had to say goodbye…This heart can’t do too many more of these. But each precious person is worth the meeting that requires the parting.
Satto…miss this little man! What a joyful and beautiful boy!
More pictures and stories to come…
