Water swirling all around me, my body slamming against the ocean floor. As I re-surfaced I could already hear the surfing instructor yelling for me to come back and try again. I don’t know how many more times I can do this, I thought to myself, Im exhausted. Each time I fell it was only moments before he was calling me to swim back to him.
This guys persisitance was wearing me out, and at one point I thought if he wasn’t around I would be able to do it better on my own. So when I thought he wasn’t looking I would paddle away to try catching a wave on my own. He would see me swimming away and shout after me to come back. Reluctantly I swam back towards him, and he would tell me I need to stand up with more strength. I told him I was tired, and I had no more strength.
He said before I could do it on my own I needed to be able to stand up, and before I could even stand up I needed to practice positioning myself correctly. Each time I fell I swear I was getting worse, and I felt like I was disappointing him, and I didn’t want to swim back to him. I wanted to just sit on my surfboard and float on the waves, but he wouldn’t let me. He wouldn’t give up until I actually rode a wave.
My experience surfing is a lot like my experience with God.
The times I went out and tried doing it on my own, I fell. Even in the roughest times, when the waves of life were crashing down upon me, God was still pursuing me, still calling me back to Him. When I would come back and tell him I didn’t have the strength to go on, He wanted me to find my strength in Him.
I needed to face the painful truths that I was running from, I needed to start letting those wounds heal, and that was God positioning me correctly, so that I could be able to stand up. I kept making the same mistakes, and I was ashamed to come back to God, I wanted to just forget about Him and live the way I wanted to live. But I couldn’t just float through life, because on the inside I was drowning.
Right now He keeps positioning me on the water, telling me I can do it, and giving me a push when the wave comes. I haven’t fully stood up yet, but I’ve learned to get back up every time I fall, and swim back to try again.
So when life looks like this…
or like this…
Try getting back up!
