“Are you happy?” he turned and asked me. The sky was grey, and the waves beat gently against the rocky beach. It was the first time in my life that anyone had ever just flat out asked me if I was happy, and I never expected the question from a perfect stranger.
Half an hour prior, I was walking along the shores of the Adriatic Sea, wrapped in my REI rain jacket, and searching for stones. I had seen him in the distance, also picking up stones and putting them into a shopping bag. Then he went and sat on a stone wall, and carefully laid the stones out one by one. I walked over to him and asked to see his collection. He smiled and we started talking, comparing our findings.
He told me over the span of his life he had collected many things, from stamps, to photographs, and now to beautiful stones that he found on the beach. He told me that throughout life certain passions come and go, but there would always be that one thing that you love until the very end. I asked him what his was? He smiled and said his wife, and then added that if he brought any more of these stones home she would probably divorce him.
I laughed, and he began to tell me about parts of his life, working at the embassy, the period of his life he did photography, the wars he had seen. He was 87 years old, and spoke five different languages including Italian, Serbian, Greek, Turkish, and English. He then proved it to me by telling me I was beautiful in all five.
He said, “Sometimes I feel like this life is a dream, like I am not really here. I wake up and have no idea where the time has gone. I was born, I lived, soon I will be gone, and then there will be nothing.” I looked at him and said, “What do you believe happens after death?” He said, “Nothing. I was raised Orthodox, I know about God, I know what I am told to believe, I even say that I believe it, but if I am being honest I don’t. Life is hard, there is no good left in this world, and we are all just trying to survive this dream.” I sat there quietly, looking out at the sea.
Then I turned to him and said, “There was once a time where I didn’t know what to believe. I looked at the world and all I saw was hurt and pain, and that life had nothing to offer me, I didn’t want to live it. I followed God because it was the right thing to do, not because it was what I wanted to do. It took me hitting rock bottom, everything in this life that I had built for myself completely falling apart, for me to reach out and grab his hand, to want it. I have to believe that there is still good left in this world. I have seen it in the smallest acts of kindness, I have seen people’s hearts come alive, and I have seen hope even in the darkest of places. I believe that He is coming back for us, that there is so much more in store for us and that it all doesn’t just end here, otherwise what would be the point of living?”
He sat there and thought about it for a moment, and then we began talking about other things and going through the stones again, he held one up and said it looked like a sandwich.
That is when he asked me, “Are you happy?” I started stuttering, not entirely sure how to respond.
Why can’t I respond? How can I be in such a beautiful place and not be happy?
I responded, “The Lord is teaching me to be.” He replied, “That was an honest answer.”
Soon we shook hands, exchanged smiles, and parted ways, with the hope that maybe we would run into each other again. We both walked away that day left with questions to ponder.
I sat with this question for several days. Am I happy?
Happiness is an emotion and temporary; joy is an attitude of the heart.
The word happiness is based upon “happenings” and what happens in this life is certainly not always happy. In fact, Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).
The fact is that “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22). Paul says, “Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses” (2 Corinthians 6:4).
The peace of God endures forever, even in hardships in this life. There is a big difference between happiness and joy.
You see I used to search for happiness in all the wrong places, and just as quickly as I thought it came, just as quickly it would flee. Even more recently the enemy would tell me if I wasn’t happy I wasn’t really loving God, but that’s not true. God is however teaching me to change the attitude of my heart. Yeah, some days I don’t feel happy, but you know what? God is teaching me to walk in joy despite hardships, to be content in him no matter the situation.
Just as I was left with a question so I leave you with one, how do you define your happiness?
Is it defined by the things you have? Your relationship status? Your job? The number of likes you receive on social media? Your friendships? Your surroundings?
Where will your heart stand when the things that make us feel the emotion of being happy are gone? When things get hard, when the storms come, what will you hold on to, what will you believe in?
