Loneliness. We all feel it at some point, and some days can be a lot harder than others. Whether you are one of the hundreds of single world racers, the single friend, the single co-worker, the single parent, or the only unmarried child, being single can at times become the most thought consuming insecurity in your twenties and beyond.
You are constantly either asking yourself questions or being asked questions from others such as why are you alone, how are you single, where are you going in life, or why did that last relationship fail again?
These questions can lead us to reconsider our self worth, compatibility, faith in God, and our faith in the opposite sex.
Some people cannot wait until the day they get married, day dreaming about their future partner and what life will be like, while others dread the idea of even being in a relationship, and others just happily choose the single life.
For the most part though, being single isn’t something that we plan, and so we can be left with questions like what exactly is God doing with our lives? Why doesn’t He give us what we want? Why has He blessed most of my friends with the very thing that I want? Does He really love us?
It can be easy to feel lost among all the different voices telling us what we need to be happy. Facebook and Instagram images, Pinterest boards, friends and family, movies, etc. The reality is we all desire to be desired, we all love to be loved, we all want to be wanted, but when you want something so badly, what do you do before you have it?
Do you sit and wait, do you chase love, or do you pursue fulfillment that isn’t dependent on your relationship status?
Do not wait for life to come to you in the form of a relationship, it is already here! Your life does not start when you get married, it is already underway!
I truly believe that we need to start changing the way that we view our single life. If you think your married friends are better off, that God has overlooked you, that you’ve missed His plan for your life, you are probably going to be miserable. If, on the other hand, you know that you’re right where God wants you to be, that being unattached isn’t a badge of shame, and that marriage doesn’t bring instant fulfillment, the way you feel about being single can be transformed.
Yes, I believe marriage has wonderful blessings and unique challenges, but so does being single! Its just different, I think of it as trading in one set of challenges and blessings for another.
It is entirely possible to be content in your “single state.” Contentment doesn’t eliminate your desires. You can be content today as single and still want to get married someday. Christ was content going to the cross, but He didn’t really want to go, He wanted to do the Father’s will, and that desire overshadowed everything else. I am learning that contentment is a determination to be satisfied with what God has given you today, and today, God is teaching me to fall in love with Him and put Him first in my life.
The fact that God hasn’t given you a husband or wife at this point in your life doesn’t mean He doesn’t love you! It simply means God, in His love, is using your singleness to mold and shape you to be more like Him and draw you to Him!
God has given you passions and gifts for a reason, so take this time and design a life you love and just start living it!
Travel, get involved, spend time with friends and family, meet new people, develop new interests, or hey, go join The World Race, then you can get a taste of living in a mostly single community but being glued to each other 24/7, talk about developing communication skills!
Simply put, become the person you have always wanted to be, you don’t need a ring on your finger to do that! Find God’s calling for your life! Use this time alone to explore your weaknesses and refine your character.
God’s journey for you doesn’t start with marriage, but that’s not to say you might not find it along the way! Just don’t let that be your consuming thought or what determines the steps you take. Be someone who carries a contagious fire within, one that the person you are supposed to be with can’t help but be drawn to!
This is your life, right here and now, and it’s exciting and full of so much potential! Don’t you want to meet the person you are supposed to be with living out your passions, chasing God, and living life fully?
I know that I want to live a life full of purpose and passion with or without someone by my side. When you stop focusing on just pursuing a relationship status and start truly pursuing life, passions, and the Lord, who knows… maybe one day your pursuits will intersect with someone else’s pursuits.
In the meantime, “Let every single moment of your life be full of passion and purpose. Be so wonderfully wrapped up in both that whenever the right person does come along, you can confidently smile and say, “This journey is a blast, I’d love to have you join me!” – S.M. Wilson
Ask yourself this question, if it was His will, are you in a place where you would be okay with it being just you and God?
