Dear Men,
I know the typical train of thought is that women are the only ones who get hurt by men,
But hardly anyone ever recognizes how we have hurt you.
Being hurt never justifies hurting.
The things that were done to me never justified what I did to others.
While I cannot be responsible for the actions of others, I am responsible for my own.
The truth is, in my own pain, I have been guilty of intentionally inflicting pain upon men.
And for that, I am truly sorry.
I am sorry, for using you as a means to an end.
I am sorry, for at times viewing you as puppets that I could manipulate whenever I wanted.
I am sorry, for pushing you away when all you wanted to do was break through the walls.
I am sorry, for the times I made you feel like you weren’t enough.
I am sorry, that I ever thought you needed changing from the man God created you to be.
I am sorry, for shutting down instead of communicating in a healthy manner.
I am sorry, for the times I verbally lashed out with every intent of hurting you.
I am sorry, for playing mind games.
I am sorry, for viewing you as a game that I could quit and walk away from whenever I was done with you.
I am sorry, for never valuing your hearts and only making things sexual because I was so terrified of love and intimacy.
I am sorry, for expecting you to fill holes that only God could fill.
I am sorry, for making you pay for the mistakes of others before you.
Most of all, I am sorry, that my heart wasn’t so deeply buried in God that you had to seek Him first to find me.
Everyone carries wounds, we live in a broken world full of broken people. The enemy wanted me to hate you, to hurt you, to use you, because I felt so numb inside. I am a broken human being, but God is turning the brokenness in my life into something beautiful. God is teaching me all about His redeeming love. We wonder so often where this cycle of hurt comes from and how to change it, but so often the first place we need to look is within ourselves.
If there is one thing I do know men, it’s that when you really do love… you love hard. Most men have at one point or another have been hurt by a woman, on behalf of any woman you have ever been hurt by, I am sorry. But men, don’t use that as a reason to waste your time on using women to try and fill voids and make you feel like you are enough, find your identity and your true worth in Christ. You are powerful and strong, and you carry great influence. Us women, we want to stand with you, to watch you reach your full potentials, to love you, to see you come alive. You were created in Gods image, and your purpose cannot be fulfilled apart from Him. You were created for adventure, battle, and beauty.
John Eldredge says, “Truth be told, most of us are faking our way through life. We pick only those battles we are sure to win, only those adventures we are sure to handle, only those beauties we are sure to rescue.”
We were created for so much more then just settling! And while the path less walked is so much harder, in the end it is so incredibly worth it!
Today and on this journey remember this, “Every man is a warrior inside. But the choice to fight is his own.” – Eldredge
