Hey y’all! Lately I’ve been feeling ALL the feels and I wanted to share with y’all some of the emotions that I keep coming face to face with. The main feelings I’ve been having have been excitement, fear, stress, and thankfulness. This post is probably going to be a little all over the place and crazy but that’s kind of an accurate representation of what’s going on in my mind right now so bear with me 🙂
I’ve never really had any problems with sharing my feelings and I actually think I can be a little too vulnerable at times. I tend to overshare how I feel and ramble for quite a while if I’m not stopped. This has been a blessing and a curse in my life. Those who know me know I’m also not very good at hiding my feelings when they arise. When I’m happy you can see it on my face instantly but same goes for when I’m angry. I’m an easily readable person and this is one thing that really worries me on the race. I’m scared my teammates will think I’m sarcastic or mean and not want to be my friends. These are the people that I’m going to be spending literally all my time with for 9 months and the fear of not fitting in or being accepted by them actually terrifies me. However, I know this is something that I just have to keep offering up to the Lord and he will make it all work out. The group of people on my route were all led there for a reason and I’m just praying that I will develop good friendships with them all.
Another big thing I have been struggling with is STRESS! Wow has that been prominent in my life recently :’) When I think about all the things I have to do before September, my brain kind of shuts down and refuses to function. I have to get gear, I’m going to have to say goodbye to people, I need to get vaccines, and the scariest thought of all…..at some point I’m going to have to….pack. The thought of packing gives me a panic attack. I mean, how in the world am I supposed to pack a backpack for 9 months?! There’s so many things I need and so many things that I have to get done and wow just thinking and typing about has me freaked out. One thing I’ve been doing every time I start to get overwhelmed is say one Hail Mary. I used to do that when I was little and got scared at night. It helps me to just take a breath and calm down. I know I have a lot of things to get done but I also know that everything will come together in God’s time so that’s a comforting thought.
So after my initial freakouts about my fears on the race, the excitement kicks in 🙂 That’s for sure and obviously the best feeling I’ve had towards the race. I’ve been watching a lot of vlogs people have posted on YouTube from training camp and let me just say I am PUMPED. My training camp is July 10th-20th and my birthday is on the 13th so that is something I’m reallyyyyy looking forward to. I’m definitely the type of person who feeds off of others energies so the excited reactions I get when I tell people I’m taking a gap year to travel and spread God’s love are the best. I’m reading new blogs everyday from people currently on the race and I just can’t help but smile. People keep telling me the things I’m going to experience on the race are going to be life changing and when I get back I’m going to be a whole new person. To sum up my excitement the one word I would use would be thankful. To have this opportunity is actually insane and I can’t even express how grateful I am to be able to do this. One reoccurring sentence I’ve noticed my friends say when I tell them about the World Race is, “How are your parents letting you do this?” Before I heard so many people tell me this, I didn’t realize how lucky I was to have my mom. From the second I told her about the World Race she has been supportive and excited for me. I took that for granted but now I really do see how blessed I really am to have a mom who encourages me to go after what I want and follow the Lord.
So I realize I kind of just blurted out of all of my thoughts and kind of just typed as my things popped up in my head but I want this blog to be authentic and this is me! I’m just a blessed, stressed, happy, and very unorganized girl with a heart for Jesus!! 🙂 Please pray for me and my teammates in the upcoming months as we prepare spiritually and physically for the race. Also if you feel called, you can donate! Anything helps! Also just a side note, there’s a girl on my route whose name is also Josie which I think is so so cool because I never find anyone else with the same name as me! So shout out to Josie if you’re reading this! I look forward to us getting confused when people say our name!:) Thank you x100 for reading this very messy blog and I hope you have an awesome day, week, month, year, and life! You ROCK!!
with love,
Josie
