Change is inevitable. It is a part of every year, month, week, day, and moment. Time doesn’t stop, it is a continuous wheel of aging and progressing and changing pathways, and no matter who we are and what we want, part of living and and being happy is allowing life to take its course, go with the flow, and accept the fact that everything changes.
I am a senior in high school, and at 17 years old, I have already seen and experienced a vast amount of new things that I have had to adapt and adjust to. New schools, new towns, and living with different family are only several examples. And even though I know what change feels like, even though I know that it is a fundamental expectation that we should all have about life, I haven’t learned to accept it yet.
When I was almost 15, my family moved from Halfway, Oregon to Virginia. I had lived in Oregon, in the same town, in the same house even, for my entire life. Moving was one of the first life altering changes I have ever experienced. I fought it. Hard. I resented leaving my family, my school, my best friend, and my home. I didn’t attempt to acclimate to my new surroundings, I didn’t look for any positive aspects, and I didn’t let myself be happy. I couldn’t see the future there because i had a firm grip on the past and I was NOT letting go.
I feel like when I left Oregon I started running and never stopped. I moved around after we left, switching off between my dads house in Miami and my moms in Berryville. I kept looking for a moment when I felt the same way that I remembered feeling in Halfway, safe, happy, and at home. But the problem was that it wasn’t Halfway, it was a new place, with new people and new experiences. It was a big change. And even now, every so often as I’m sitting in school or I’m out with a friend, I think about Oregon and compare it to where I am or what I’m doing, like nothing will ever live up to it. I never allowed Virginia to become home because if I did that, I would be letting Oregon go, I would be accepting the fact that I wasn’t going back.
As a senior however, I am forced to start thinking about what the next changes will be. Changes like where I want to live, what I want to study, and now, whether I am ready for the World Race. My mom told me recently about a talk show she heard on the christian radio about how people are picking a word of the year. Something to focus on in every aspect, to incorporate into your everyday for an entire year. Something that is positive and will in someway change or motivate or better you. And having said that, my word of the year is:
ACCEPTANCE.
I am making a goal, a late new years resolution of sorts, to simply accept. Accept that by the end of this year, everything will have changed. Accept that I am not alone, and that God is ALWAYS with me. Accept that if I am meant to go on this mission, and if my God wills it then it will be done. I want to accept the fact that I am not in control of my life for good reason, because even my very best will never match God’s worst. I want to accept, that as I step out on my own and have the opportunity to explore and experience both positive and negative changes, I am provided for, and protected, and ever blessed by a powerful and all mighty God.
This year, I want to finally accept that I moved for a reason. That I might not have ever found the World Race had I stayed where I grew up, and that I might not have already met such incredible and beautiful people through this calling. I want to accept that I am where I am for a reason, and that the blessings I will receive from letting that be enough are endless.
So my final message here, is that no matter how alone, or how heartbroken, or how lost you feel, knowing when to accept things as they are and look to God for your answers, to accept him, is the only way to truly understanding the reason for change. And this year, I am going to do nothing else than exactly that.
Yours in Christ,
Josephine Dehlin
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