Independent: free from outside control; not depending on another’s authority; not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence, being self sufficient, self providing, or the state of being completely self reliant.
That’s an incredible thought isn’t it? The prospect of being independent, the possibility it opens up, the freedom that it implies. The word itself though is idolized. Think about words you would link to the title of being independent. Personally I would say bold, free, courageous, and intelligent. I would probably say privileged, because independence is something to really strive for isn’t it? It’s a part of growing up and coming of age. A point that everyone is expected to reach at some period in their life, whether it happens all of a sudden or is slowly acquired, little by little, day by day, freedom by freedom.
Giving up independence is just as hard as gaining it can be, especially at my age. I’m 17 years old, about to graduate, and naturally have the mindset that the more I can do on my own, the better. I’m a teenager about to finish high school and leave home for the first time. The world at this moment has an infinite list of possibilities and exciting prospects. I can do anything, be anyone, and become anything I want to be. So as cliche as this sounds, the world right now is like an oyster. I am at the age when I am expected to step out on my own. Become someone who does not rely on others for day to day care. Someone who is independent, and adult like, and responsible for my actions and the consequences that follow them.
Most people think of graduating high school as the time for seniors to cut the rope that ties them to their family. They’re on to the next stage of life, free and able for the first time to carve their own image, pave their own path and live their own dream. They are supposed to be on the last leg of the race in which their parents must run along side them. Society’s opinion is that I shouldn’t need someone at this point to have to tell me what choices are right and wrong, whats good, whats bad, what is and is not acceptable. Unfortunately, the majority of people are stuck in this mindset. The mindset that independence is an actual thing to strive for. Something to want, something to prove to others that you have, something that we should be proud of when, or if we can attain the title. But let me tell you the truth.
I don’t want to live my life independently. And I’m not just talking about leaving home or going to college. I am talking about true independence in terms of how I choose to make decisions, how I choose what is right and what is the wrong thing for me, how to choose what to be, who to be, who to surround myself with, and what to strive for. It’s important to stay in the mindset of being not INDEPENDENT, but DEPENDENT. And not on your parents or family or friends, but on your Lord. On the Savior. On God. Leaving home is not a big deal because it’s the first time that you can release that childhood rope, it’s a big deal because it is the first time when you have the chance to grab onto a new rope. A rope that tethers you directly to God and is not founded on what you grew up believing, or what you have heard of others testimonies, or what your family’s faith is. Growing up is about realizing that leaving home is about creating a new foundation of your personal relationship to God and of who you choose to be once you no longer have those you love pushing you in the right direction. A foundation of what YOUR testimony is. Of what YOU believe. And of who YOU want to be. Leaving is not about gaining independence from your family, it is about becoming more dependent on Christ to provide for you. It is not a matter of some newfound freedom, it is a matter of whether you can stop relying on others habits or faith or history and create your own through following Christ. Through being humble, through giving credit to Christ and his example rather than to yourself.
Everyone’s past is unique. Everyone has details and memories and people who have had major effects and leave lasting marks on their lives. Every individual has a different story, and mine includes a family who taught me that the gospel is real, and true, and indisputably vital. I was schooled on what it means to be kind, and righteous, and charitable. On what it means to have a good moral compass, to live up to a higher standard of living. A standard that includes living your life not through your own personal will, but through God’s. I was taught that being independent physically is good. That knowing how to write a check, take care of your car, or know basic first aide is important. To not rely solely on other people because I am strong, and hard willed, and intelligent. But to always rely on the Lord and the Savior’s example and the Holy Spirit to guide and direct me, because I may be a smart or capable individual, but not so much that I could ever live up to even a small part of the person that Christ was.
So again I’ll say, giving up independence is hard, especially at my age. I’m 17, I’m about to graduate and leave home for the first time. But let me be honest about what I am preparing for on a deeper level. And let me say that this stage of my life is not at all about me making my own choices. My life right now, and from here on out, is about grabbing on to that new rope, a new life line that will enable me to remember and trust in the belief that what I want does not, should not, and never will matter as much as what the Lord wants for me. My life should be centered around including my Savior into every decision, every choice, every image and thought and breathe that I see and take. He gave his life for me willingly, so in a small way, by giving into that pull and grabbing the rope I want to give mine for him. I may be 17, and I may be ready to leave home. But I’m telling you that even though it’s hard to not want independence, to turn away from the thought of doing everything on your own, it’s always better to have someone to rely on, ESPECIALLY when that someone is a Lord who loves, and values, and wants nothing more then to wrap you in an eternal embrace of love and mercy and blessings for nothing more than your trust and the submission of your will. Let Him take the reigns. Let Him steer. Let him take care of you, and I promise that no matter what happens, it will turn out SO MUCH BETTER than what would happen if you chose to conquer the same feats on your own.
Thanks for reading! More coming soon;)
