Hot. Humid. Noisy. Crowded and packed with people. Loud with the sound of karaoke and trikes and screeching jeepneys. Polluted and busy every hour of everyday. Welcome to Antipolo, Rizal. This is what I walked into a month and half ago. I live in the city in a little pink house in a colorful community. My meals are served a ten minutes walk away, and 90% of the time that includes rice. We have no AC and it’s the middle of summer here on the island, and so the only relief I have from the heat is when I take a bucket shower everyday. When I first got here I felt a lot of anxiety about it. I felt stuck. No where to go alone to think or read. Always surrounded by people. A ministry with 19 boys between the ages of 12 -19. I wasn’t sure how I, a white American girl with an easy childhood in comparison could possibly be of any help to these boys. Ministry wasn’t “assigned” unless we had specific kids bible schools outside of Children’s Garden (CG) where the boys live. My ministry was quite literally to hangout. Talk, get to know the guys and be friends. I was lost about what my purpose was, confused about why the Lord would put me here of all places, and honestly really just not motivated to throw myself into life here.
That was a month and half ago…and now as I’m sitting here typing this with less than 3 weeks before I have to leave CG, it really hurts to think about the fact that I walked in here praying that time would go by fast. I came on the race to create relationships, that was the whole point. To love and to love well. To meet christians and to show non-christians what they are missing out on. To serve without thought for myself and to willingly give my time over to god for the benefit of a kingdom I am striving towards. And this season is when God gave me more of a chance to do that than any other time on the race.
So, I’ll keep details out for the sake of the boys, but I HAVE to let everyone who helped send me on the race know what a gift they are.
Most of them were taken of the streets of Antipolo, where millions of children live homeless right now. Some of them have families and some don’t, and almost all of the ones who do don’t have father figures. They have testimonies of hurt and injury and fear. Some were on the streets at 6 and 7, many were in gangs, some fought, some begged for food, and some stole for the sake of being able to eat. Many were doing drugs at a very young age. Some are at CG because they were causing so much trouble that the government considered them a liability, and none of them are up to normal standards in school. The oldest boys are still in 5th and 6th and 7th grade. Some are just starting to learn to read and write. Some speak English, mostly the older boys, and some can only understand a little and not really respond. Some are shy and don’t want to interact a whole lot, especially in the beginning. It was hard getting to know them. It IS hard relating to them. It’s hard to have a desire to share my own testimony when I know that my “struggles” are so vastly different from theirs.
But they sing more than any people I have ever met. A few of the guys on our teams brought guitars, and between those and the cajon drum there is always music. They love rapping, they dance allll the time. They laugh really loudly and love love love to joke around. They wrestle and they pull pranks and they play basketball every chance they get. They have a desire to know God. Devotionals and worship are a part of every boy’s life, starting at 6 am when they do devos every morning. They are hard workers, with an honest want to make something of themselves. These guys have ambition, friends. They have a clear desire to become something, to make lives that they love and do things that they enjoy. One wants to be a high school Tech teacher, another a flight attendant, and there are several who want to be missionaries. They are kind. Smart. Loving. And caring. They ask how we are and enjoy playing card games. They get bored at the house, so us being there provides them with something to do, to keep them moving and occupied. They surround me when I read or write, and they ask what I am reading in the bible everyday. They worship loudly and they are animated when they praise God. They LOVE Sharon and Billy, our hosts. These street kids, boys who I wasn’t enthusiastic about being with a month and a half ago, are some of my favorite people now. They are more valuable then I made them out to be. Loved and cared for and part of this family that CG has created. They are full of life and light and change. REDEMPTION. They are good people, with big hearts and good intentions. They are BELOVED, LOVED WITH A NEVER ENDING LOVE. They’re watched out for, and they are called sons of the living God for a reason. They’re my brothers.
I’m glad I got to know them before I knew their stories, because they boys that I hear about and the boys that I know are different people, old friends, maybe even strangers now. They have a light that I can see getting brighter and brighter and brighter the more time that I spend time with them. And the more I talk to them, the more I realize how ridiculous it was to believe that I had nothing to connect them to me with. I HAVE GOD. I HAVE THE SPIRIT LIVING INSIDE ME. I HAVE CRAZY TESTIMONIES AND STORIES OF JESUS WORKING IN MY LIFE. What more do I wish that I had to share? Are you kidding???? The absolute best conversations I have had with the boys are the ones that ended in us talking about the Lord. That’s why I am here isn’t it?
I am eternally grateful that God is in control of life and not me. He knows what I need before I even have an idea. He knows what the outcome will be, and he knows that even when I am being stupid and stubborn, his plans are fruitful and worth it and good, because he is good….so so so good. My life here is hard. Days are hot and exhausting, yes. Polluted and busy every hour of everyday. Colorful. Full of life and people working towards a better way of living. Always moving, always on the go, fast paced and in a hurry. I have absolutely no alone time. I am tired and sweaty 99% of the time, and I am so sick of eating rice. But I’m fed, and I am taken care of, and I have such a kind and gracious Father. The CG boys are like no one I have ever met. They have crazy amazing futures. Huge hearts and ambitious minds and true intention to become sons of the most high. To say that the last month and a half was a good would be an understatement. And to say that I was even half right in my first assumptions about this life would be dishonest.
