2012:
Three years ago, I was in a desperate place, unaware God was up to something amazing.
He was in the process of captivating my heart.
The parties, the alcohol, and the search for things of this world to satisfy me weren’t working anymore. The weight of the contradiction was crushing – the contradiction of speaking one way, but living out another. I wore the Christian label, I went to church, and I even went to Bible study, but I was unable to bring myself to fully surrender the parts of my life that I thought were fulfilling.
Slowly but surely, God opened my eyes and heart to the destruction my lifestyle brought and showed me that a relationship with Him was what would bring lasting fulfillment.
I had a decision to make. I was afraid, I was worried what others would think, and the people who knew me would probably think I was crazy, but I couldn’t ignore what God was doing in my heart.
Three years ago, I surrendered my life to Christ: to serve Him, love Him, and become the woman He has created me to be and to do the things He has purposed me to do.
2013:
Two years ago, I was once again in a desperate place, unaware God was up to something amazing.
At the time, I was pursuing a career in Early Childhood Education. Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be a teacher.. But something was changing and I felt myself wavering in that for the first time in my life. WHY!? I was two and a half years into this career path, I had great standing with my professors and dean of my college, and I was president of the Early Childhood Organization. It was too late for me to be switching majors!
But the closer I walked with God, the more I felt Him calling me to something different–something more. The life He planned for me wasn’t the life I planned for myself. In a moment, God clearly revealed to me that I had to let go what I thought was best for my life and commit to whatever ministry He ended up leading me into.
I had a decision to make. I was afraid, I was worried what my professors and family would think, and I had no idea what was behind this door I was about to open, but I couldn’t ignore what God was doing in my life.
Two years ago, I surrendered my plans for my life to Christ. So many things felt uncertain and I didn’t quite understand what God was up to, but I knew it was far better than anything I could do on my own.
2014:
One year ago, I was in a desperate place, unaware that God was up to something amazing – again.
Graduation was approaching and I knew that God had called me into a life of full-time ministry, but I still had no idea of what that actually meant. Did it mean that I had to work at a church? Did it mean I had to go back to school? (I really prayed against that one, haha!). Did I need to take some time off to figure it out?
The uncertainty of it all gave me so much anxiety and frustration. Why wouldn’t God just make it clear what He wanted me to do!? I’d do whatever it was…I just needed to know! I prayed. I searched. I applied to this and I applied to that. I just kept getting one shut door after another.
A few months later, God finally opened the door for me to go on the World Race – Expedition Route! My excitement and relief could hardly be contained, but if I walked through this door that meant leaving my family, friends, and comforts for 11 months. It meant having to support raise over $17,000. It meant abandoning my own little world of comfort for the unknown.
I had a decision to make. I was afraid, I was worried of how my family and people might react to me going, and I had no idea how I would raise such a huge amount of money, but I held on to God’s promise in Joshua 1:9 that He would be with me wherever I went.
One year ago, I put my trust in God to walk through the door that He opened for me. And now here I am. It’s so crazy to look back and see all He has done in just a short amount of time. I leave the country for the first time in about 6 weeks and I know the best is yet to come!
