I just said goodbye to my mom and dad for eleven months. This just got real. When I said bye to my dog Harlow I cried. She had been acting strange for about a week because she knew I was leaving I think (which made it even harder). Then I said goodbye to my boyfriend. We just ripped it off like a band aid, said bye, and didn’t act like it was a big deal. Then I got in the car to head towards launch and cried like a baby. But neither of those compared to saying goodbye to my mom and dad
My parents are my best friends. I depend on them for absolutely everything. If anything is broken my dad can fix it. If I’m broken my mom usually helps me put back the pieces until I feel better. It didn’t really hit me until that moment that during the next year they won’t be there to do that for me. God will.
The amount of dependency I have on my parents is down right unhealthy. One of the things I really hope to get out of this journey is to be fully dependent on God to take care of me. No one else. Just my Father. I know there’s no other way to do that than to strip me of my comfort: my cell phone, my extremely loving parents, my readily available internet; and make me so raw and so exposed that all I can be covered in is God’s love.
It’s slowly starting to sink in that this is happening. It’s too late for me to back out now no matter how chicken I get. I’m going to India tomorrow night. I’m saying goodbye to everything that is comfortable and saying hello to everything that is real. I already miss my friends and family dearly, but I can’t wait to return to them a completely transformed person consumed by the grace and love of Jesus Christ.
P.S. I got to watch 4th of July fireworks in Washington D.C. over the Washington Monument. Stinking beautiful. I feel like God blessed us so much with the perfect going away party. Pictures to come as soon as I steal them from my team mates that took their cameras
