I haven’t written in awhile and I think it’s because I’m thoroughly enjoying my day to day life. I was on the Camino for awhile which was a hard time to blog and then coming off of it, it has just been a fun ride. So let me gather my thoughts and share with you all what God is doing. I’m going to share 2 things with you guys. What God has been doing in Team 43:19, and what God has been doing in me.
Team 43:19
Since leaving the Camino De Santiago in Spain, my team has been in Croatia. We have been living on the beach. Super peaceful, nice and calm. Although getting here was not peaceful or calm. Before leaving the Camino we began to pray into what was next and it was interesting what we got. In different messages received we all came to the conclusion that God was going to do something different and for us to trust in Him. As we prayed into that we realized God was asking us to take everything step by step. Buying the bus tickets, finding lodging, etc.. So naturally this created stress and it seemed like nothing was coming into play. We had some roll over days in Barcelona because of ticket issues, and more was spend here and there. Looking at everything it seemed a bit unorganized and could have been true too but it was a beautiful disorganization. As we made forward steps to Croatia and continued praying we began to hear God speak even clearer. We realized this whole next chapter was happening for God to draw us to Him and each other to be the Church. On the Camino it was hard to be a team so we all naturally had a lot of alone time and through that we began to see God speak about the body of His church but that was it. Coming into Croatia we began to see the application of being and becoming the Church. So that’s the first thing we have and are still learning. Team 43:19 is becoming the Church. I will share Colossians 3:12-17, to describe what is happening in our group.
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
Our hearts have been full. We have loved each other well by the way we serve, have fun, read our Bibles, pray and sing with each other. We are beginning to see a powerful shift in our lives. God is speaking to us individually and as a group. Sure, there are still hard days here and there but we are actually enjoying the Gospel of Christ and each other’s lives as Paul said in Thessalonians. We are challenging each other and calling each other higher in areas of weakness. We are praising each other in our strengths. All in all we are beginning to have thankful and grateful hearts for what Jesus has done, leading us closer to the Fathers heart. See.. here on the World Race we don’t have a service, we don’t have plans, we don’t have our little ministry days that we check off the calendar. We are strangers living in different houses weekly and meeting new people weekly. Nothing is consistent besides the breaking of bread and taking up the wine. His love and call for us to be united is the only thing that’s consistent. I mean this is Church! So if you are reading my challenge to you is to ask yourself, “Am I really in authentic community where I’m being pushed and challenged? Praised and encouraged? Am I in a community where we love God and people in all we do? Is my life ministry and my ministry is life?”
Me
God has been teaching me what it means to be a leader and more importantly a man of God. Since leaving all my positions of leadership back at home, I began to feel a sense of emptiness. Not necessarily a sadness, but like a sense of, “well.. where do I belong?” Often times in leadership you can get everything mixed up and overtime you find your position is your life. This position validates you and gives you purpose. It even helps give you a platform or even a way to check off the box of “ministry.” If this subject is interesting you, then please go to my first blogs. I’m not going to write about identity, although God has been teaching me a lot about it. So now that I’m a “regular” guy I’ve asked myself these questions:
- How do I become a leader when I’m not in a position of leadership?
- When do I jump in and lead and when do I back off and let someone else lead?
- How do I become my full personality and self when knowing I’m called to lead even though I have no position of leadership?
Well by spending time with the Father and those around me through some feedback (I’ll write a blog on this later) God spoke some amazing things. The answer to those questions is found here in 1 John 3:16:
““We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.”
So whether I’m in a position of leadership or not, the way I lead is through the way I sacrifice. Rather than stressing or trying to discern every little moment, the only filter I need is.. “Will this action be one of sacrifice?” If the answer is yes then I’LL DO IT! I’m learning more and more how to walk in my calling which is to be a pastor and a shepherd of people. I’m passionate and burdened to help people cross their river. In this process of learning something that God keeps reminding me is that it’s not a title but a lifestyle. Yes, there will be a time when I’m in a position of Pastorship but the question I keep hearing is, “Am I being faithful in the little and living a life as a Pastor now? Am I sacrificing myself for those around me? Am I choosing to listen and walk with them by being simply their friend? Am I stewarding all that I have now?“ It’s truly a different approach to leadership. It’s very much tied to the idea that I’m learning,
-Life is Ministry and Ministry is Life- We are simply called to love God with everything and love people as ourselves. This command doesn’t talk about leadership or wealth or positions. This command in Matthew talks about a way of life.
Through this WorldRace experience I’ve noticed God is making me into a man of balance and resolve. I have learned that I led in the best way by my passion and emotions but I can also be led in the worst way by my emotions and passions. So I didn’t realize this as much until God started highlight certain things in the Word and through a mentor of mine. God is working on my inner man to be a place of balance and resolve. When life hits… emotionally, spiritually, physically.. in the little things and the big things.. the question is what is the posture and strength of my heart? Will I be emotional and driven by my emotions or circumstances or will I be a rock and set free with the peace of God? Since being on the field I have had a lot of time for God to speak to my inner-man. I’ve learned new insecurities and weaknesses of mine but I have also grown in so many ways. Part of the growing has been going deeper. In this way God is highlighting truly the health of my inner-man. I’ve heard God ask me to do way too many little chores and acts of services than before. I’ve heard God ask me to open up about things that I never have before. I have been thrown into some hard relational circumstances and I have had to deal with the surgery that God is still doing in my heart. As God has taking me away from every comfort and delight, He’s pushing me to Him. He’s creating a strong man. He’s creating a man whose ultimate delight is in His relationship with his Father. He is creating a man whose heart and actions are radical and set apart from this world. In simple terms.. God is teaching me to:
“take captive of every thought (emotion, circumstance, and everything in between) and make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5-6
God is teaching me:
“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain,” Hebrews 6:19 NIV
This has revealed the flesh that’s in me and my need for His Grace. I think an answer to this has been found in:
Matthew 5:3 ESV
“”Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
There was this moment during some quiet time by the beach that I wrote this poem..
Like the wind across the sea
Is the push and pull You have on me
You’re calling me deeper and deeper
The riches of Kings seems like what I need
Do I doubt in Your presence there’s nothing more I need?
You’re calling me deeper and deeper
You say blessed are who become poor in Spirit
Well Father help me because I can’t seem to be it
You’re calling me deeper and deeper
Like the wind across the sea
Is the push and pull you have on me
You’re calling me deeper and deeper
This poem explains a little about where my heart is at. I want God more but my flesh keeps getting in the way.. But I know He’s calling me deeper.. so I keep going in.
God is doing amazing things in and through me on this WorldRace journey and I know there’s more to come. Thank you for praying for me and joining with me on this journey. Stay tuned for my updates.
