Have you ever been driving and then all of a sudden “wake up” and feel like you have zero idea how you got from point A to point B? That just about sums up my entire week last week. When I had my one on one with our team leader Andrew on Saturday I seriously struggled to think of what ministry we had done during the week. And it wasn’t like we didn’t do anything… the opposite. Even when we weren’t doing ministry, we were always doing something: eating, hanging out at Starbucks, having team time, feedback, and team activities.
Last semester, I got in a daily routine that was incredibly lazy. I would go to school until noon, go to the gym, watch Netflix and eat my lunch, watch some more Netflix, eat dinner, then play Fortnite with my friends who lived in another state. It was bad. It was chill, easy, and definitely in my comfort zone.
Ever since I left Colorado, it has been nonstop on the gas pedal compared to that. We have always had something planned every morning until lunch and then every afternoon and evening until dinner. And yes, we do have siesta(nap) time most ministry days(because it gets so hot), but I had become accustomed to my life being siesta time. This last week was when my body finally realized that and had to adjust. And it was hard.
I felt tired and guilty a lot because I didn’t think I was being as effective a missionary as I should be. The one amazing thing I did remember from the week was that I had started to make deeper connections with locals than I had in the previous weeks. I started talking(or trying my best in Spanish) more and more with those working at the school, the youth in the church, and the locals we play volleyball with almost every day. The coolest moment was yesterday when we were playing volleyball with the usual crew. After the first set of games our host Joel asked if any of them wanted prayer for anything in their lives. Honestly, I didn’t expect any of them to say yes because none of them were Christians. But sure enough, they all agreed one by one, asking for prayer for their families and their health.
We don’t have to feel a certain way to be used by God. He moves regardless of the way we feel; all we have to do is say yes. And for me, saying yes to God might look like saying no to watching a movie or reading a book so I can get an extra hour of sleep. I’ve realized that my days become blurry(I forget a lot) when I don’t get the proper rest, and the whole point of being here is BEING HERE, fully, for every ministry opportunity we get to be a part of. I coined the phrase “all honor, no memory” after not remembering how much I owed Joel for his wife’s ice cream, but I’m not going to let it describe my ministry here in Peru.
