One night, my Sensei January and I decided to go explore the city of Chiang Mai. As we walked through the night market, I kept getting strange looks from the people on the street. The local vendors glared at me. Or they would look at me with disgust and then turn their heads. A few male foreigners smiled and gave me a nod. I looked over at January. “Did you notice that?”
“What?”
“All of these people are giving me weird looks. Some of them look pissed.”
Then it hit me.
They WERE looking at us.
“Holy crap! They are looking at us because I’m white and you’re Asian! Don’t you understand?! They think that I just bought you off the street!”
“What? That’s crazy. They aren’t looking at us. You’re just paranoid,” she explained.
But after it was brought to her attention, she began to agree with me. It’s hard to describe how it felt. I knew the truth of the situation, but I felt extremely judged in the moment. I felt like I was the scum of the earth. This was a situation that I never expected to be in. I was just another “typical” American guy in Thailand, who was out for a good time, regardless of the cost. ”What happens in Chiang Mai, stays in Chiang Mai,” some of the shirts said.
Last month in Cambodia, I walked by an older, seedy-looking white man and a much younger, beautiful Asian woman. Immediately, I assumed that he had bought her and they were headed to a local hotel for the night. In that moment, I realized that I also carry that same stereotypical viewpoint. That could have just as easily been his good friend January, or even his wife.
So what did I learn from this experience? I guess it just made me more aware of the fact about how often I buy into stereotypes and how judging I can be of others. In general, I like to think of myself as someone who doesn’t judge people…mainly because I know myself and all the things that I have done. I like to think that I have a lot of grace for people, but it’s not always true. I’ve found that I judge way more often than I once thought.
Sometimes, you just have to give people the benefit of the doubt and blindly trust. What good does judging do anyway? Often, we can be completely wrong about someone. And, even if our assumptions are correct about another’s actions, it does no good to condemn and judge them.
“…For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” -1 Samuel 16:7 ESV
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged? Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” -Luke 6:37
“…So, speak and act as those who are to be judged by the law of liberty. For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.” -James 2:13
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*Side Note: My Sensei January is currently in danger of being sent home because her financial goals have not been met!If you would like to support our further adventures on the race, please visit her blog and donate! http://jessicasunkim.theworldrace.org/
