I wake up each day in a bed. A nice, soft, warm, bed, in a room all to myself, with a private bathroom. And get this. I have hot water, everyday, all day, whenever I want. Do I have to wait until 3 a.m. for the water to be heated back up? NO! Because I have hot friggin water, all friggin day, and it’s amazing. And then, when I wake up and I walk downstairs, I can make coffee. Real coffee. As much as I want. And for breakfast? Did someone say Bacon? Yessir. I can have bacon. Actual bacon, with eggs. And on many days, I can have blueberries, and mix them up with bananas, oats, coconut, almonds, and cinnamon. And all of that is already in the kitchen. I don’t have to walk out and scour the city for the one guy in the one kiosk in that one part of the market that sells cinnamon. I don’t have to wait for the stores to be restocked with eggs.
And all of this is in a huge house with more space than I know what to do with, with a forest in the backyard through which I can hike and romp around anytime I please. And, praise be to God, when I pick up my cell phone, I can actually complete a call to someone, or look something up on the internet, or send an email, no matter where I am, because I’m on a fantastic phone plan in a country with consistent wifi. I don’t have to verbally abuse my technology anymore to guilt it into operating as advertised (I know it doesn’t work that way, but it’s cathartic and leagues better than verbally abusing the guy who answers on the Verizon Tech Support side of the phone). And if I want or need to go somewhere in town or out of town, I have a car that I can drive. It’s my sister’s, but I get to use it.
And here’s the part that’s so good it makes me feel guilty, the part that makes me constantly aware that I don’t actually deserve any of this – I’m completely broke. I’m not paying for this. My family is providing this for me, without complaint, while I look for a job and figure out the next step in life. And to think I was worried that life would be filled with less miraculous things just because I was returning to old surroundings.
I don’t have a complex point to this. It’s actually very simple, but so important and so profound: God is my provider.
He gave me all of these things through the family in which He decided, before I was even conceived, to place me. He knew the challenges I would face upon returning to the states – the search for a job, the lack of personal funds, the need for rest competing with the need to move forward in life, and the need for community. And He said of these things “I will provide for him.”
So, how are things going now that I’m back home? Supernaturally great.
Yes, I’m searching for a job right now. Yes, I have no money. Yes, I’m trying to figure out the direction in which I should move forward. My heart says stay in Atlanta, but nothing concrete has come up in terms of job offers and I’m open to wherever God wants to move me. In the midst of that, I am trying to adjust to a completely different culture – I am no longer surrounded by 23 brothers and sisters 24/7. I spend long stretches of time alone, and I yearn for the kind of community I had for the past 11 months.
And yet, in spite of all of those challenges, I have all of the things I listed at the start, plus a group of amazing guys to do life and Bible study with every wednesday night. Having a roof over my head and a bed would have been miraculous in and of themselves. Compared to sleeping shoulder to shoulder with 5 other men on the concrete floor of a storage unit in Nepal where they slaughtered goats on our front steps every morning, having what I have now shows the goodness of God and His faithfulness in provision in ways beyond words.
So as I move forward, I make sure to keep my perspective focused on the goodness of God, on the ways in which He has already shown His faithfulness and provision in my life, so that when I am faced with challenges like the ones before me now, I can stand in peace and confidence in God’s leading. No matter how hard things get, as long as I keep moving forward and as long as I keep a thankful heart focused on Him instead of on my challenges, I know He’ll provide me with whatever I need to go in the right direction, and sometimes more just to bless me and make me a blessing to others.
So whatever life looks like for you right now, no matter how many challenges beset you, I encourage you to choose to focus on the things for which you can be thankful, the things for which you can praise God. In that, you’ll find a hope and a peace that equip you to take a step forward, instead of wallowing in anxiety over the hardships you face.
On that note, here is what I am doing now and the direction in which I’m trying to move.
What’s Next?
I’ve gone through several interviews for different communications and journalism positions in a summer fellowship and I’ve applied for similar positions in Atlanta. I am also in talks with a publisher to begin writing a book about my experience on the World Race. If that comes through, it would be a dream come true for me as an aspiring author. Some of the fellowship positions are materializing, but most won’t start until June, so I’m looking for a source of income in the interim.
Some of that will come from freelance writing, and hopefully I will find a consistent job in Atlanta until June or longer, but I am also selling T-Shirts. The shirts I am selling, however, won’t just generate money to help in the time being, but will also help me save money for the next season of ministry, either leading a squad with the World Race or attending G42, a Christian leadership and discipleship ministry school that helps participants start on the path to the vocational ministry to which each of them have been called.
All of that said, I’ve written a personal vision statement for this next season of life to help keep me focused and directed as I progress –
My Vision Statement
For the next season of life I will move, by the leading of Holy Spirit and the Father’s provision, to pursue opportunities by which I can hone my skills and contribute good works as an author, a creator, a shaper of culture, and a leader, and through which I can continue to minister and be a blessing to those around me in discipleship and walking with Christ as a man of God. I will do all of this with the ultimate goal of pursuing a vocational ministry, taking advantage of the opportunities to love others well along the way.
If you would like to help me achieve this vision, or if you just want an awesome T-shirt, click the link below. They are selling for $20 per shirt. They are made with a higher quality soft material. The colored countries on the front are those in which my squad did our work and the verse on the back is Isaiah 1:17. Be sure to leave your name, address, and number and sizes of the shirts you’re ordering in the note section when submitting your payment.
Link to order shirts: https://www.paypal.me/JoshuaGill14/20
As always, I hope this post finds you well wherever you are. If you have any prayer requests or just want to reconnect now that I am back, don’t hesitate to reach out. May God bless you and yours with His manifest presence, peace, love, and provision, and may you each come to know more of His heart and voice everyday.
