Time flew by this month. Now that it is finished, I see how it has been such an amazing experience. I want to start by thanking you all for the support you guys have shown me. Without you, I wouldn’t be here.
Let me share with you what God has been teaching me. From the fears that I still have and how those fears are stopping me from doing what the Holy Spirit has plan for me, and how He’s teaching me to walk in sonship, the Lord is guiding me.
For the past year, God has been teaching me a lot about identity. One of the things I have been struggling with is what people think of me. Two weeks ago I had couple opportunities to pray over people on the streets of Riverside. Riverside is a higher end, more touristy part of Phnom Penh. Earlier that day I had some personal time with God and with one of my prayers I asked God that I would have the eyes to see people how he see them. Let me tell you, don’t pray that kind of prayer unless you are ready to be rocked by God, because he answered.
As the team and I started to leave to go eat I saw a homeless man with no leg. I felt so much compassion for this man and I knew God wanted me to stop and pray for this man, but I hesitated I was to worried about what my team would say because everyone was hungry, or how the tourist would react. So I went on, knowing that it was definitely the Holy Spirit that was pushing me to go.
Two minutes later, I saw a man with a huge tumor on his face, making his face deformed. I paused, because the same gut wrenching feeling came upon me. I ended up just passing by him too. I felt bad because I knew it was from the Lord.
God spoke in a gentle way, he said, “Joshua you see those people who you just pass by? Those are the same people I healed I prayed for and died.” Who knows if I would’ve seen a miracle with either men, all I know is that I failed in having a chance on loving on them.
The next day I saw the same guy with no leg, and I walked by him again, but I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone because everyone was getting hungry. We sat down at the restaurant and my heart couldn’t take it. I excused myself from the table. I tried looking for the man. I ended up finding him and I asked if I could pray for him. He said yes with a smile on his face. So I prayed for him and I gave him a dollar, which is a lot in Cambodia.
As I was walking back to the restaurant a different man stops me to thank me for doing what I did. He explained that he see this guy everyday begging for money and everyone passes him by. He said he helps the man when he can. I may not have healed that man, but God used me as a billboard to display his love for the people. It’s a ripple effect. God is teaching me not to be afraid of what people think. He’s teaching me not to let my fears make my decisions.
