Perhaps this is to be a slightly controversial post, though if you read it in the context of the writer, that being a borderline mystic vagabond Christ-follower, then I suppose it’ll make a bit more sense.
Almost a year ago today was one of the best and most shaping of my life.
I was struggling with multiple issues at the time and was trying with everything I had to be faithful to the Father.
“Do you trust me?” he asked.
And for the first time ever, after trying to deny my own feelings for quite awhile, I said with great resentment, “No.”
I sensed a smile as he replied, “Good. I can work with that.”
Never fear distrusting your King. To have false hope that your yourself invented to make yourself feel better in the storm is lunacy. You become the crazy man on a sinking ship in the corner, rocking himself back and forth, as you slowly drown, dreaming of strawberries and sunshine. It is a lie.
Faith cannot exist without first having doubt to file away at. To not know is the divine right given to we the not-knowers. Once you can embrace a distrust of God, how much more will he show his faithfulness to you when you distrust him yet still chose to be faithful?
Deny your King as furiously as you would be faithful and you will see your Father with might as never before as doubt that still trusts will cull the weakness from your very bones as you bow.
Liars have no place in the Kingdom. The house that doubt built is called the high heavenly.
