There are many truths I know about God, but I haven’t truly experienced for myself. This month God has allowed me to experience Him in new ways and rely on him like never before. First, I want to start with a story about my struggle upon our arrival:
When arriving in Port St. Johns, I became unnaturally homesick. It started while our team was in a mini bus taxi on our way to PSJ for the first time. I became unusually sad and began missing home. The feeling only got worse when we arrived. Up to this point, I had not felt homesick even in the slightest the entire time I have been gone. Don’t get me wrong, I missed my family, but I wouldn’t have called it homesick. But this…this was different. It was a deep sadness that I felt down to my bones. There is no good way to describe it. There were times when I desired to go home more than I desired to be on the Race, but I knew that wasn’t an option and I would regret it even if it was possible. I felt this pain the majority of the day for the first four or five days being here. I found myself going to thoughts of the future or old memories from home to bring me comfort. I was so consumed that I couldn’t see what this was doing to me. Since I was focusing so much on these thoughts and memories, I wasn’t truly present. All I wanted was to be distracted from the pain I felt, but in doing so I also distracted myself from everything else around me. All the pain made me so exhausted. After waking up, I had to pray for God to give me the strength to get through the day and accomplish His purpose for our presence there. I pleaded for Him to be my comfort and stop the pain I was feeling. Everything that had happened to me so far had given me a pretty poor outlook on Port St. Johns. Not to mention there is a bunch of witchcraft and other traditional rituals being practiced here. I also asked God to open my eyes and soften my heart to see this place and love it the way He does. After asking the Lord about it, He shared with me that I was under spiritual attack. It was spiritual warfare. It was an attempt to distract me from all that God wanted to do in and through me while in South Africa. Well, the attack failed! God provided the strength and comfort I needed. He restored my sight and showed me PSJ and in a better light. He’s still breaking the chains of fear that continually try to entangle me. But the Lord has shown me that freedom will be mine!
Here are a few things He has taught me:
He is our best source of Comfort.
He is our lasting comfort. Things of this world that provide comfort do not last. They only last for a moment and distract us from the pain, but the pain still remains. The Lord is our refuge. He gives us comfort when we are in need and abolishes the pain we may be in. However, we need to remember that in pain and discomfort comes growth, so do not fear pain and discomfort!
He is Strength.
God does put us through things we can’t handle. It’s so we will learn to rely on Him to be our strength. We need to know that we aren’t meant to live this life on our own strength. If we try but we will certainly fail. God provides all the strength we need. Come to the Father and ask for it.
He is Generous.
God gives to us in abundance. Every time I was in need He provided for me. It may not have been in the way I expected or at the time I had hoped for, but God knows what is best for us so I rest in that. “For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” – Luke 11:10
When life get’s hard don’t go to worldly things to satisfy you. They won’t. Ask the Lord to give you comfort and lean in close. When you need strength ask for it. But keep your eyes open because instead of just giving it to us He may give us the opportunity to display it instead. He’ll give it to you when you need it. Don’t be afraid to ask God for the desires of your heart. Come to Him with thanksgiving and praise, then ask for what you desire. If you don’t receive it be patient and check your motives. We have the greatest dad to ever live. Have faith and trust in Him. You won’t regret it.
