At work we get to order lunch from a choice of several different restaurants every day. (I know I am spoiled rotten) This morning I felt like God was telling me to order lunch and give it to someone that needed it more than me. I decided that I was going to order my lunch for “Mark” (that is the name I was imagining for the homeless guy I was going to meet). I ordered a turkey and bacon sandwich and a pint of fruit. I couldn’t wait for lunch to go and give it away. At noon when it was delivered I grabbed the food and headed for the door.
I don’t know San Mateo very well, as I just drive in on the highway go to work and drive directly back home. I had taken the train a couple times and saw homeless people there, so the train station was where I was headed.
On my drive over I was deep in prayer praying for “Mark” and for the food to nourish his body and for the conversation to bless him. I parked my car and gave one more quick prayer before I headed up to the train platform. I see “Mark” and head over to him. I sit down and start a conversation. Turns out his name isn’t Mark it is John (Strike one). I ask him if he is hungry and he says no (Strike number two). I ask him how is day is going, where he is going, if there is anything I can pray for, nothing (strike number three!). He wasn’t hungry, didn’t seem too interested to talk to me, and didn’t want me to pray for him. I was confused. I thought God wanted me to go and feed “Mark the homeless guy” today. As I walk back to the car disappointed, I prayed for answers, if there is no Mark and John isn’t interested in my sandwich who is supposed to eat it. Then God spoke to me. He opened my eyes and showed me the sandwich wrapper that had “Josh” written on it. I felt God say “Go and eat, you will need this.” But what about Mark and John? I took the sandwich and headed to the park. I spent my lunch in the park talking to God.
God told me that this year, as much as I will want to continuously help others and continuously pour out, that sometimes the sandwich is meant for me, sometimes I have to take the time to reenergize myself, fill myself up. He used this experience to remind me that not every person with dirty cloths is ready for new ones, not everyone that lacks food is ready to eat, not everyone that is lost is ready to be found. The most important thing he reminded me though, is that it is “your will be done” and not my will be done. He has a much greater plan than I can even imagine.
It was funny, on my drive back to work from the park I didn’t come across Mark but I did come across a Blood Donation Bus…Thank God I had eaten that sandwich.
