I’m trying my best to collect my thoughts from the past 6
months. This trip has been so wild. It’s the best, worst, most horribly amazing
thing I’ve ever done. Hahaha…but seriously that is how I would describe it.
God has been growing, shaping and molding me all along the way. I honestly
would say that sometimes this trip is not at all what I expected it to be. That
isn’t a bad thing either and it hasn’t always been a good thing…it’s just been
different. There have been moments of incredible joy and moments where I could
have packed my bags and taken the first flight home. This trip can be tough
sometimes. I long for home, family, and a hot shower more than I ever thought I
would. Yet deep down in my soul I know this is the path God wanted Bri and I to
take. We needed to be brought out of the bubble we were in and experience God
in new ways and learn to be wholly dependent on Him. I find it interesting that
so many times in the bible God seems to take people on these crazy journeys
away from their family, their hometown, everything that they have come to know
as familiar, in order to do a work in them that only He can do. I have to level
with you….this trip has been brutal at certain points. I have had some really
awesome mountaintop experiences with God but to contrast those times I’ve also
had some really low, gruesome valleys of tears and feelings of crushing
disappointment. But you know what I’ve come to realize in all of this?…..THIS
IS LIFE! There are some amazing mountain top experiences and there are some
valleys that seem so dark and low that it feels like there will never be a
light or a bottom to them. The hope in all of this is God himself. He has truly
been my hope and my portion.
I have been reading in the Psalms lately and they have been
like medicine to my heart and soul. I love the author David’s honesty. He
doesn’t put a nice ribbon and bow on everything he says. Actually if you read
far enough into the Psalms you will find some pretty raw and honest moments in
David’s life that he is bold enough to write about. He admits that life is an
amazing, horrible, joy filled, painful journey that we all go through. David
records some very real and uncut moments with his creator. In Psalms 9 David
begins with an amazing anthem of praise. He says, “I will give thanks to the
Lord with all my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. I
will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, Oh Most High!”
Yet in the very next Psalm David begins with some extremely honest and heavy questions.
He says, “Why oh Lord, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times
of trouble?” Wow! I love this guy! He doesn’t put on the fake smile all the
time and pretend that everything is O.K. He is willing to come to God with both
heartfelt praise and honest questions that shake his heart and faith.
I want to take a second and say that this is totally ok to
do. We can come to our Heavenly Father and pour our hearts out, no matter how
that looks. Some times we praise until our voice is lost and sometimes we weep
for hours. This is ok. God is ok with that. I hope this brings some relief.
This is actually the base level of prayer. If you don’t know how to pray or
maybe you have never prayed before I recommend you just be honest with God. He
wants a personal, intimate relationship with you and He has offered that
through His son Jesus. Jesus came, died for our sin, offers us forgiveness and
opened the door for us to access the Father. If you accept what Jesus has done
for you on the cross, admit that you are a sinner and turn from your sin, call
out to Jesus to save your soul and he will! That is the first place to start
with prayer. God says that the people who call out to Jesus like that become
sons and daughters to Him. You then have the privilege of coming into the
presence of the Creator of the Universe, your Heavenly Father and talk honestly
to Him. Be real, be honest, be raw, and be bold. He actually encourages people
to come “boldly to the throne of grace.” This isn’t an arrogant boldness but
rather it’s an invitation to come to God with an honest and transparent heart
and say what you want to. David is a great example of this. If you disagree
with me on this I would encourage you to read through the Psalms for yourself
and come to your own conclusion. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Grace
and Peace to you from God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ.
Off to Cambodia!!!! Loving the Journey….
