Well now that its official that I will be going on the Race I figured it was a better time than any to tell how God has brought me to this great adventure..
To say that this has been in the works for a long time is an understatement. It was about 3 years ago that my great friend and World Race Alumni, Shannon Morgan (See: http://shannonmorgan.theworldrace.org for her blog) went on the race, and I followed her trip via her blog. It was so cool hearing all the things that God was doing through her, and her squad.
Now, when she got back, I wanted to hear everything about the trip that I couldn’t read on the blog, and by everything i mean everything! Boy was she happy to tell too lol. Though at the end of every conversation, she would say, I think you should do it, I really think it’d be great for you.. I was thinking yeah.. sure.. I could never do that, plus I want to go to China. ( Side note, many of you who know me know that I LOVE China, like a lot, and have always planned on going back there for an extended period of time after graduation. Heck, even sometimes thinking about not waiting until graduation.) So, I never really gave it much thought to applying for this race.
Fast forward to last fall (2011) and as I am feeling lost in the sea of school, still having an entire year and half until I graduate, a year late. When something weird happened, I was actually content with staying in school, I wasn’t trying to find a loop hole to graduate early, or drop out and move to China, I was actually happy to stay in school and glorify God where I was. Was I looking to the future, absolutely, but it wasn’t my main focus, it was school and glorifying God there. Then came Passion 2012…
Here is where God really started screwing with me, turn a phrase if you will. Here I was actually content in what I was doing and where I was at, and He decided to send me here to flip that all around. The focus was on Slavery and Human Trafficking. Christine Cain (http://www.equipandempower.org/ Is her website) as well as others who are making a difference spoke. This just awoke in me all the feelings I have towards the world and wanting to change it. It awoke the Me that God created to desire the nations healing. Needless to say, it was quite a internal war going on. The Culley that knew He was called to stay in school and finish, as well as the Culley that wanted to go and change this world. This lasted all of passion.
After passion I was still fighting how to reconcile the two different feelings inside of me. Enter Shannon Morgan. She calls me on night shortly after Passion, (in her words mind you) Drunk on Jesus (She and future race Emile Taylor (http://emileetaylor.theworldrace.org/ for her blog..) had talked for 6 hours about the race!). While in this intoxication of the Spirit, she spoke so many words of truth over me, about who I was, what I was struggling with and so many other things. There was no way, apart from the Spirit of God, that she could have known those things, I had told no one what I was wrestling with. She just kept telling me about seeing me as this man of God that I would become, and saw glimpses of it in my life, but so much more. Man it hit me, hard!
I thought about these words all of the next day. (Sorry Dewey, I know we was chilling that day, but I was totally distracted by these words) I knew exactly what she meant. The two Culleys inside of me were wrestling, one was the man I was now, and the one that was awoken was the one I was wanting and was being made into. I saw the one I was going to be in short bursts, other times I never saw him, but people would tell me how they saw him in me. I want to be that man of God. Over the next couple days I prayed and prayed about this man that God wanted me to become. Whatever it takes, Lord, whatever the cost, sign me up if it means becoming more like you and closer to you.. Boy has he answered that prayer..
It was a few days after this that something happened, that has never happened to me before.. God spoke to me through a dream.. Now now, before you think I’m crazy just hear me out. So picture this with me
I am sitting in a class room at Ole Miss, when the teacher just says, “Alright, we’re done here” So we all leave, well unbeknownst to me, we’re going swimming. I’m like crap i don’t have any swimming trunks i can’t go swimming. BUT WAIT, I wear gym shorts under all of my pants and shorts. Score I can still go swimming. So, As i begin to dress down into my gym shorts I realize, I’m wearing those gym shorts (They are my absolute favorite pair, but they have the biggest hole in them, not like a big hole, but to the point where they are almost just two pieces lol) Crap, I can’t go swimming in these. I’m sitting there thinking, eh what am I going to do now. Something just comes over me and says Screw it, i don’t care what I look like, I’m going swimming in these shorts. So we get to the “pool” (Those who go to Ole Miss, the “pool” is the fountain behind the library, lol. For those who don’t, here you go:
really big right? Well as my fellow swimmers and are preparing to get into the pool, I notice that many of them are dipping there toes in it to test the waters, make sure they can handle it. Something comes over me and tells me to dive into it, yeah you read that right, DIVE into the pool that looks to be no more than a foot deep lol. Well I did, and it had to be pretty deep because by the time I got back to the surface, everyone was already in the pool with me. Odd thing is, they are just sitting there, not doing anything. Deciding not to stand there any more, I begin to make a splash to get a wave going.. Of course they look at me like I’m crazy, but meh who cares I’m having fun. So I keep doing it, soon after, more and more people begin to join in. Right before I wake up, the wave has gotten so big, that there is no water left in the pool, it is all in the wave going around the pool.
Well there is the dream. You’re probably scratching your head wondering, what in the world does this have to do with the world race. Well don’t worry silly head, I’m getting there 🙂
Now for me to remember this dream this well is a huge deal, because I never, ever remember a dream. As I’m thinking about the dream, it was almost as if God was explaining the dream to me, as I was thinking about the dream.
I was in class and had to be until I was finished (i.e. Teacher saying, We’re done here. ) So before I could become this man i was wanting to be, it would have to be after school. After leaving, I had no clue as to what we were doing and was completely unequipped to do what I was called to do. (Didn’t know I was going swimming, nor had the swim trunks) but if I trusted Him, he would take care of me. What little I had to offer, really wasn’t enough and I was ashamed of it, I have to get over myself, what others think about me, and not dwell on what I can bring to the table, because its just a holey pair of gym shorts. As we are getting into the pool, everyone is being cautious as they enter, He was telling me, no caution is showing that you don’t have faith, Risk, take some risk Josh. When I got up, everyone was standing still, content in the walk they had, but God was saying, No never be content, strive for more, strive to be closer, don’t just stand around in the pool, its not what it was made for. Pools were made for swimming, so then My relationship with Him is there to grow closer to each other, doing anything other is going against the very foundation of a relationship. Finally, the splashing, This is Him calling me to do something, and it may seem crazy, even to fellow believers, but trust Him! Eventually people will begin to see His hand all over it and join in, and together as a body, we can change our surroundings..
I feel that the race is something that I wouldn’t have planned on doing and I feel like I’m not equipped to do it. I’m just hungry after Him. I don’t have anything to offer this race other than myself to His will. This is a huge risk for me. Financially, spiritually, physically, and everything else, but I know that His hand is on it and its here that i will begin to grasp, if not fully realize that man that I want to become. I want More of Him, and after reading blogs and hearing stories, I feel the World Race is going to be an outlet that I can see Him more…
So there you go, that’s my story.. Neigh, this is the beginning of my story. I’m glad that you all get to read and experience the story with me. I love you all 🙂
