Watching Men

Please click on the song before you read this! 

Writing this blog has been difficult for me because I didn’t do much today but God has taught me a very valuable lesson. 

Every morning at 4:30 A.M,  I wake up to a man praying through a speaker known as the Salah prayer. I decided to pray for what I believe was going to be a great day full of action. Andrew and I was going to the Juvenile prison to help with teaching English to boys who we have been praying for. 

[Flashback]

When I was 15 years old, I end up shoplifting and was caught red handed by the police. I remember my father looking so ashamed and embarrassed for what I had done. I was sent to court and was at the mercy of the judge. You see, this judge could of sent me straight to juvenile prison.  I deserve it, I was a thief, I broke the law. As the judge asked me, “How do I plead?”, I told him I was guilty but that I wanted to go to my first mission trip to Peru. Nervously, I told him I wanted to go and serve God. I know what you might be thinking. Josh, you got caught stealing and your asking the judge if you can go and serve God. What a hypocrite! You see, I battle with-in myself to do good but failed. I was falling into a deep spiral of sin leading to the dark side. Something in me wanted to change, wanted a second chance. I wanted to make my wrong right. But I needed God’s grace, I needed God to change my heart. I asked Jesus to help change me and to forgive me. 

Driving to the prison, I see people on the side of the road. I could hear this song playing in my head. “King of My Heart”,

 

It started to rain on the way to the Juvenile prison. As we walked inside, I noticed there was only a few guards around. So we walked to the classrooms and no one was there as we expected the teenagers to be. I could see the boys from a few yards away! But they could not come to me because the guards kept them on the other side of the court. The rain divided us. We then headed to the main office and met with the quarter master. We found out that there was a change in command and the person in charge was not expecting us. We ended sitting for an hour and were not able to see the teenager boys who we wanted to be with. All I could do is battle with in my self. Asking God why? Is this what you want? Why send me here to not even get a chance to talk with the boys? 

Then I thought, God if you want me to watch men and pray for them from a far distance, I will do it for hopes that you will work on them in your special perfect way so that that you may receive your glory. So I begin to pray as one tear rolled down my cheek. But I hid my face because I was not sure how I felt about not being able see what God was doing in these teens. I  have to wait and pray and watch. Hopefully God will give each boy a second chance and change their lives, just like he changed mine. 

I learned that God is working constantly. He will never let us down. He will receive his glory. I wish I could of wrote an amazing blog, with a great story. But the truth is this is what most of what my days look like. Me battling with in myself. Realizing God is God. And watching God pursues the Men He loves…

 Isaiah 43:4