The timing of these types of situations is amazing. It has been just 30 minutes since I posted the blog telling the world how I fell about my wife and I get in an argument with her. During that time I want to believe so bad that I am in the right and I fight so hard against what I know I should do and continue to do the things I hate doing. Sounds kind of familiar doesn’t it?
Romans 7:15-20 – I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is the sin living in me. I know that good itself does not dwell in me that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
So in a 30 minute period time I have just invalidated all the things I just said about her. I even struggled with pulling the blog down because the things I just wrote no longer seem to ring true by my actions. I still believe that they are true but if you read those words then saw my actions you would think that I was two faced. I just may be that in the sinful nature as Paul says. The funny thing is, is that I no longer have to operate in the sinful nature because I have been set free by Christ and his spirit lives in me.
However, I struggle so hard sometimes to believe that about myself. I know that there is victory in Christ and in the words that Paul wrote in Romans 8. I know that I have authority over the sinful nature and the power to rebuke it. I hear the Lord speaking to me and telling me that pride is no longer apart of who you are. You do not fight against the things of this world that tell you, you must be right, but that you need to love in spite of those things just for the sake of loving that person. The funny thing is the person to which I battle with the most is the person I love the most or at least that is what I tell the world on the internet.
So I am going to press into God and relinquish my grasp on my pride (even as I write this I fell the desire to make myself sound better than I am). So as I relinquish my grasp on my pride I chose to pick up love and press into the love of the Father. I know that I am not through with this but I know that this is one step closer to stepping into the identity that Christ has for me. And in the end love wins!
