The minute we touched down in Bangkok, a huge smile spread across my face. It was exactly 2 years and 6 months to the day that Josh and I left Thailand. It felt so great, because when your life is about constant change, and sometimes even chaos, it is so wonderful to feel something familiar again.
Josh and I said goodbye to each other at the airport, which was hard. We have never been apart for more than a few days at a time, so 3 weeks to a month is really daunting. I left the airport in tears, and walked out into the scary world of doing things alone (without my husband anyway). We headed to Chiang Mai, in northern Thailand, and have been staying the last few days at Won Gen Cafe, which is a ministry of Lighthouse in Action, the organization we are working with this month.
New Year's Eve was wonderful. We went with a team that is working here from Texas to say hello to the girls they have become friends with at the bars in the red light district. Afterwards, we got lanterns, and Tiffany and I shared one. It was so awesome to light it, and see it join with the thousands of others floating in the sky.
Yesterday, we went to two Buddhist temples, which was educational, but I didn't enjoy it very much. I've studied Buddhism, and been around it when we came to Thailand a few years ago, so I knew the basics. It is also really hard for me to be in places that are so spiritually heavy, because I have the gift of spiritual discernment. When there is spiritual warfare around, I can usually feel it, and I tend to take on the feelings of whatever is around. At the temples, it was just very heavy, and very oppressive. At the first one, I took one walk around, and I started to feel like I was 10 times heavier, and I couldn't breathe. I tried to sing some worship songs in my head, but I literally could only think of two. As I passed people on the steps, I prayed silently for them. After going around once, I went outside the temple area, and listened to my audiobook to disengage for awhile.
Later that night, I went with another team from Texas, who are here working with Lighthouse in Action, to the red light district. They have been visiting and investing in some of the girls there, and I got to meet three from one particular bar. I instantly fell in love with them, as we played pool, Connect Four, and bonded over showing them my family pictures. I asked one of the girls how her New Year's was, and her reply broke my heart. "…I just worked." Every time I went to the bathroom, I prayed over the girls, over the bar, and the whole district, that Satan would be gone from that place, and that the girls would know that there is a Savior who loves them unconditionally, and will not use them. I hope that I get a chance to go back once or twice to see them again. If not, I am trusting that God will bring someone else along that will love them and that they will one day see the Truth.
I've also been really struggling with financial stuff. Well, maybe struggling is more of a strong word for how I feel about it. Since Josh and I have signed up for the Race, we have looked forward to this month, definitely for the ministry, but also for the other fun things we would get to do here. I was so excited about getting a new pair of Thai pants, eating banana rotee several times, going to a fish spa (you put your feet in a fish tank, and the fish nibble off the dead skin…it tickles so much but your skin is soooo soft afterward), riding elephants, and maybe even getting a new tattoo to symbolize the growth I have experienced, and where I am.
Except…Josh and I are pretty broke. We each have $25 of personal money to last the month. Then, that's it. We have no more in the bank. To say that I was stressed about this last month would be an understatement. I'm still a little uneasy, especially if our fundraising works out, and we are allowed to stay past the end of this month, but it has been SO hard to see my squadmates going to the market and coming back with Thai pants, jewelry, scarves, getting massages and tattoos, and going out to eat.
I am trying to be very frugal with my money, and so far have only spent 20 baht (less than a dollar) on a lantern for New Year's, and about $1.50 on banana rotee. Although I really, really want to do the fun things that my squadmates are doing, I know the reality is that I need to have money to buy shampoo and toiletries, medication, the occasional meal here or there that is not covered by the squad, and maybe one fun activity like riding elephants. But, every time I see a squadmate walk by in their awesome pants, I get jealous. Jealous that they don't have to worry as much about finances, and can be more free with their spending. Jealous that they have a cute new shirt or scarf. Jealous that they are getting tattoos, when I have looked forward to getting one here for years.
But why am I so focused on that? Why am I focusing on the things of this world, rather than on the One who created it? I realized two things. First, again, I was placing my identity in things other than the Lord (like whether I have cool pants or an awesome tattoo story). I was feeling left out, and that because I "hadn't been financially blessed" (notice the quotation marks), I was somehow lesser. Second, I was letting frugality take over how I assessed everything. I almost didn't even go with them to the bars last night because I was worried about spending money on transportation, and a Coke when we got there. I decided to go for it, and the Lord blessed me by having the other team pay for me. Such a blessing. In the name of being frugal, I would have missed out on an amazing time with the girls in the bar, and with the Texas team, and that's when it starts to be a problem. Definitely spending money too freely can be a problem, but too far the other way can also be detrimental, when it takes over how you view everything.
So, I am asking for prayer in this area. Please pray that I can be content with not having pretty pants or an awesome tattoo, that I wouldn't covet the things that my squadmates get, and that I wouldn't get frustrated with them for buying them because I can't. Also, for a happy medium when it comes to being frugal. I want to be responsible with the little money that I have, but I don't want to miss out on opportunities, especially ministry opportunities, because I was being too stingy.
Also, if you would like to help us out financially, that would be awesome. At the moment, I don't have enough money to buy medication that I need for the rest of the Race, because it would use up everything that I have. So that is a really big need. If you would like to donate to our personal account, to help us buy toiletries, medication, and to pay for fun things on our days off (it's just like any other job…you need some fun and relaxing time), you can either donate to our Paypal account ( https://www.paypal.com/webapps/mpp/send-money-online -Just enter my email address: [email protected]), or you can send a check to Josh's parents' house, made out to either me or Josh. You can send it to:
2104 S Candace St
Ozark, MO 65721
Just include a little note that says that you would like to donate to our personal account.
We are also in really big need for financial support in our World Race account. We were supposed to meet the deadline on December 1st for $22,000 in our account, but we were given a grace period until the end of this month. We currently have about $16,500, which is crazy! That is a HUGE amount, but unfortunately, there is still further to go. If we do not reach the $22,000 by the end of the month, we will have to leave the Race. We also have another deadline coming up on March 1st, on which we need to be fully funded at $31,000. We are both at a place of being at peace about it, but we still very much desire to stay on the Race. I want to impact more lives, like the girls here in Chiang Mai at the bar, and I want to continue on this amazing journey of growing closer to the Lord, and I feel like this is the best environment for that. We are believing that God is good, and whatever happens, it will be good. So, if you would like to donate to our World Race account, you can do so by clicking the link on the left that says "Support Us", and donate via credit or debit card, or you can send a check to AIM.
Adventures In Missions
P.O. Box 534470
Atlanta, GA 30353-4470
Just remember to put "Josh and Jen Mendenhall" on the memo line, so they know which account to put it in.
Tomorrow, we leave for our ministry in the village, so I am ready to fully be present in ministry, rely on the Lord for finances, and see what big things He does this month.
Love and Peace.
