***I wrote this a couple of weeks ago, but I wasn't sure if I was going to post it or not. My teammate Johnny had just found out that his mom's battle with cancer had taken a turn for the worse. He decided to go home early, and within hours he was on a plane for home. Our team always knew it was a possibility, but it has still been hard. We found out this morning that she has passed away, and we are grieving with Johnny and his family. So, I have decided to post it. Johnny, Diana, Dawson, and the whole family, we love you and are praying.***
It’s hard to know how to feel when you get the news that you’ve been dreading for awhile. Except, you didn’t realize you were dreading it, because you didn’t even fully believe that it would actually happen.
It’s also hard to understand why it would happen, when you’ve been praying with all of your heart against it. I’m not usually someone that has to know the whys, but this one is hard.
Why hasn’t Tracy been healed? We’ve had the faith that it can happen. We’ve prayed and fasted, and have sought the Lord. Why is she getting worse? I had so much faith that this injection would work. I didn’t even see it coming that she would never get the chance to do it.
Why does my brother have to go through this? He has faced this trial with so much humility, faith, and steadfastness. It hurts to see someone that you care so much about go through the pain of seeing his Mom battle this cancer. It hurts to know that in less than 24 hours, your friend that you have spent almost every day of the last ten months with will be leaving for another continent, and the next chance to see him will be in a few months.
These things hurt. They do. We could make ourselves crazy by dwelling in the hurt and in the whys, letting them swirl around in our heads and in our hearts until we lose sight of the truths. These are the truths that I know.
The Lord is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Cancer is a name, but we serve a God who is the Name Above All Names.
He does hear our prayers. “I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and He will hear me.” Psalm 77:1
He is the “strength of my heart, my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26
His love endures forever.
He always keeps His promises. He reminds us by painting it in the sky after the storm.
His work in us is not done. “My Father is still working, and I am working also.” John 5:17
He gives us hope. “We rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.” Romans 5:2
He is our strongtower, our fortress, and we can take refuge in Him.
“We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God; those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28
So, I don’t know why this is happening. I don’t know why it seems like our prayers haven’t been heard. But I do know that we serve the Creator of the Universe, who is our Comforter, our Protector, our Abba Father. He loves us because He loves us because He loves us.
