It’s been a while since I wrot a blog and plan on writing one to wrap up my thoughts about the race, but this is what is happening right now.
These past couple of weeks have been nothing short of a whirlwind. I honestly could not even fully describe it in words. I only know that I am finally at a place where I know I can be at peace with the decision I’ve made about my next step and not question it one bit.
As some of you know, when I was in Guatemala for the World Race I had felt a calling to go back there and work with a branch of Adventures In Missions to work in orphan care and many other ministry opportunities that arise in that area. For whatever reason, I had someone mention to me that it might not be EXACTLY what I was expecting, so I panicked and ran away from it. At that point, I thought I had made the right decision and moved on from it and was just TRYING to forget about it. That went on the remainder of the race and lasted until this past week. In the midst of all that, last week I went to project searchlight to hear about other ministry opportunities and heard one that I was feeling like I was ready to commit to. I only got as far as completing an application for it and then had to go home.
Now, I haven’t worked with kids for like 3-4 months up to this point and honestly was kind of forgetting how much they bring me joy and how much God uses me to bring them joy. I may not be the best academics teacher or the most strict of people, but one thing God has equipped me with is love and that’s what so many kids desire, and I am here to provide that. Right before I left for project searchlight, I accepted a position as a camp counselor in Minnesota for the summer (or so I thought). After about two days of being at the camp and being around kids again it was like God was shaking me and yelling, “Hello!! Are you awake?!?! Do you not see that this is what I have for you?!”
So the second night into the week I was really praying in to what was spoken over me this past year. Two main things kept popping up, one is that I am a leader and people will follow me. I thought “great, awesome, I’m a leader. So what does that mean?”. As I was sorting through that, God kind of just interrupted that thought by telling me that above all things that were spoken over me this past year that He has called me to be a father to the lost and broken children of the world. After praying into that more, I couldn’t help but think that I ran away from the Guatemala opportunity. Didn’t think through it, just ran away from it. I didn’t even get to work with orphans in Guatemala, and honestly, I could go to any country and work in orphan care. It’s everywhere. When I think of Guatemala though, I think of quiet times that I’ve never felt closer to God, personal realizations between God and I, amazing people, and also a country that in some parts looks good on the surface but is screaming from within for help.
So, a couple days later I got in contact with the person who heads the program in Guatemala to see if there was a way to get back in. I honestly thought it would be a no since I withdrew from it before, but by the grace of God, I was able to return to it. These past few weeks have been some of the most confusing, stressful, and ultimately beautiful weeks I’ve had in a while, but being committed to Guatemala again makes me feel like someone has released the pressure valve in my head and in my soul.
I had a peace about coming out here to Minnesota to work, and while it only ended up being a week, it’s purpose was fulfilled. I had to fly the whole way to Minnesota and work at a church camp for a week to realize where my heart truly lies and what God has called me to do. It’s a bittersweet feeling, but I am coming home this weekend so I can begin fundraising for Guatemala, since I am tentatively set to leave at the beginning of September! It’s a wild and crazy ride that God puts us on and even though mine has been going through some loopty loops lately, looking back on all the events, it all totally makes sense to me and I am perfectly happy and content with where I’m at and what is next. More info to come soon about Guatemala! Thank you all and God bless!
