People are wicked. Our hearts are selfish and self-seeking most of the time, not always, but a majority of the time our decisions have something to do with our comfort, security, and our interest at hand. I have done things in the past that I have moved past that I am utterly ashamed of, as I am sure you have. We all have skeletons in our closets that we have buried and moved on with. I think it usually starts with a small little sin, and grows and grows and grows until it consumes you.
This story is not one of total loss, some good has come out of it.
One of our pastors gave an allegory a few years ago about a snake. In this story, one of his friends bought a pet snake. The snake was a tiny, cute manageable pet. It didn’t eat much, and people didn’t really know she had a snake. At night she would let the snake curl up next to her pillow while she slept, it liked the body warmth. Then over time the snake grew and grew, she didn’t really tell her friends about the snake because now at this point her cuddling with a snake at night was weird, and they probably wouldn’t understand. Then it would have to start eating more, needing more management. Then one week after a few months, she would wake up and the snake wouldn’t be curled up next to her, it would be stretched length-wise against her body. After a few nights of waking up with the snake fully stretched out, she went to the Vet to ask what was going on. The vet told her the snake was measuring her body to see if it can eat her yet, and that she needs to either kill it or get rid of it immediately.
Snakes don’t actually do this, it’s an allegory. However, it is a perfect example of how sin, especially secret sin, in our life can grow and grow to consume us.
With that being said, what happened is understandable only because we live in a broken world and this person is forgiven but for my safety is blocked from all access to me currently.
Starting back in the fall someone named Jamie began following me on social media. Jamie was dating my friend Steve in a well – known band in Austin, TX. She had like 10,000+ followers and was dating one of my friends, and he was posting about her and even texting me with excitement over his new relationship with her. One day she contacted me through instagram about needing to talk, I sent her my email and she began to start questioning me on some things.
She wasn’t a believer. She was a film actress who worked for Disney, but feeling a lot of pressure and being objectified. At first she told me she was in pornography, and my heart sank, but that was just a gag. She began to really just ask questions about who this guy Jesus was who I try my best to follow and live my life like he did. I’m not a perfect example, but I’m trying my best. I would, without getting into heart issues or specifics, just explain the gospel and recommend getting involved in a local church and meeting some girls you can ask these questions with and talk to and walk with even if you’re just questioning what’s going on. Just trying to point her to talk to some women who could help lead her in this season, and then every few weeks she would message me about something, and working out, and just talking about fitness/ health, etc. She was about to leave for the Philippines in November, and she expressed that her and Steven had just broken up, and then that next weekend she was going to the Philippines.
So I took a break around this time from social media. I got back in January and a few weeks later, her sister contacted me. I hadn’t talked to Jamie in like 6 weeks, because I took a month off of social media and I thought she was doing relief stuff overseas. It turns out Jamie passed away in a car accident before she even got the chance to go. I was pretty upset, but also encouraged that I could at least share the gospel with her before she passed. Jamie expressed through a message wanting to help out with the World Race trip.
Her sister contacted me asking for stories about her from her friends, so I mean I didn’t know her really well but I just explained what she had told me and what I knew through Cruz. We didn’t go into heart issues, and there was a lot of boundaries between me and a girl who I know through social media. There wasn’t inappropriate communication, and it was always pointing to hey, go talk to some girls about these things. There are boundaries needed between a man and girl specifically when talking about heart issues or the gospel. Some things need to be lead through by an older woman rather than a guy who isn’t your husband/pastor.
Her sister informed me of Jamies death and then started to follow me on social media. Her sister emailed a few weeks later asking me what this world race was, and I explained. Jamie’s family seemed as if they would be interested in helping me out. Jamie had mentioned before that her family was very well-off, and keep in mind I know her ex boyfriend (who is a good friend of mine in Austin).
They offered to fully sponsor the rest of the funds I need for the World Race!
Blown away by this offer, super excited with my friends, and we went and celebrated with old fashioned’s at this local bar called Paschal’s in denton, tx. If you’re ever in Denton, go to paschals. The inside looks like hogwarts. If you’re from denton, you know this to be true, haha. It’s a rad little private club on the square.
They were wanting me to come down to Austin to meet their family before they do anything further, because I gave them the link and everything and it seemed to make sense that you would want to meet me first. Up until this point I only know she’s real because of Steven. The next morning I began to research this family on the internet to see what kind of programs or charities they’ve done in the past.
But I can’t find anything.
At all.
If you google me, you will find a full page of links from bands, bicycle tours, a pokemon fan fiction I wrote when I was 10 years old (that I can’t get taken down no matter how many emails I send to the website). It’s really embarrassing.
If you google my father he has a ton of links to him with the companies he’s worked for.
There’s nothing on this family. At all. No tumblr, nothing except social media stuff. No hard evidence they even exist.
What is going on?
I search for an hour or so, and find nothing. I start calling my friends who know them through social media and it turns out all our mutual friends have never met them. Steven told me he split up with her because she would never meet him in person, or show up on skype/facetime. Just phone calls and texts and selfies. This also happened to one other of our mutual friends.
It was all a lie.
Steven, I think, didn’t tell a lot of people about this part maybe out of embarrassment. I don’t blame him, though! I’d be in the same boat if that happened to me. Which I am pretty skeptical about things, I’m very trusting with people but with boundaries and testing waters before doing anything. I wasn’t going to drive to Austin alone, also wasn’t going to drive to Austin without evidence of their charity work before. Which is why I began to research it.
It turns out Jamie, her sister, and her sisters family didn’t even exist.
It was just some person messing with me, or manipulating it for attention.
I’m not sure how this happens, but this person is forgiven. And something good came out of this. I shared the gospel with someone who desperately needs the gospel. I can only imagine what would happen if I asked off work and drove to Austin, spending gas money, wasting time and energy on this. I could have been taken advantage of while there or robbed. It happens to men, too. I know several men who have been taken advantage of, and it’s dark and difficult and most men will never admit it.
People are wicked and will seek after their own interest. What happened could have been an example of what is called cat fishing, where you create a false identity to pursue self interest.
Pray for this person, who manipulated Steven and me and several other people. Who knows what they are doing now. This stinks, and I would hate to see one of my brothers or sisters be lured into a trap and be hurt through this. Be careful when meeting people.
I’ve met a ton of people off craigslist, some of my now best friends, and I’ve hitch hiked several times. I’ve always been safe in these situations, but I need to start being more careful. People aren’t always who they say they are, and you could get hurt.
When fundraising, fellow racers, make sure you are contacting someone who you know or is a secondary contact of someone you know who knows them. Meet in public places. Be careful and be safe.
I changed the names and cities of the story I told to protect my friend.
This is the end of deception, and this person or person’s throne of lies crumbled before them. God is so good and wise and I am thankful for a skeptical heart to want to be safe and research someone before putting myself in a sticky situation.
In the words of Stick to Your Guns, We’re what separates the heart from the heartless, so we press forward, regardless of the consequence.
Never giving up, and fighting with everything we’ve got. The funny thing is, I wasn’t even bummed at this situation. Thank you for everyone who has been praying for me since I started this TWR process! With all the prayer, and constant meetings with older men leading me in preparation for this trip, and diving in the word, I have nothing but joy in this situation. I felt used last night for a little bit, but that’s life. A faithful brother walked with me through that. God is good and uses this for his glory.
And to the person that did this, if you’re reading this know that I forgive you and that Jesus loves you so stinkin’ much.
On a side note, check out my homeboy Colin sportin’ one of my TWR fundraising shirts!
He is looking pretty fresh. I only have XL’s left but if you want one email me at [email protected] ! $20. I can mail it to you, we can work that out through email.
Otherwise, things are going well. Thank you for all my sponsor and supporters so far! The Lord is definitely providing and is so gracious in this. It makes me feel silly for doubting or being scared about finances. I am scared about the world race, and I think if you aren’t scared about one of your goals, your challenges need to be bigger. It should be scary, a healthy dose of terror to keep you progressing and pushing forward.
Say a prayer for the catfish person, and a prayer for me to keep fighting’ the good fight!
Let’s change the world, ya’ll.
-J
