This week, I was spending time in prayer, and God convicted me about some pretty heavy stuff, particularly related to my World Race fundraising.
You see, I realized my attitude was all wrong. I was getting overwhelmed with what I can do to raise money. I kept trying to write an emotional and provocative support letter that would make you give me your money because it was just so darn convincing, and it scares me to admit that. I tried to make something amazing to sell. I tried to schedule events.
I realized that I was trying to raise the funds with MY own power rather than trusting and relying on God’s provision. My attitude said that if I could CONTROL the situation, if I could pray enough, share my post enough, be persuasive enough, or write well enough, the funds would come in. I completely neglected God’s role.
This weekend, God began to take me through my fundraising journey, and I realized just how wrong my faithlessness really was. Time and time again, miracle after miracle, God kept providing for my needs. Just last week, the tent I wanted so desperately went on sale, and I was able to buy it. TELL ME THAT ISN’T JESUS. I dare you!!! Everything keeps falling into place just in time, and here I am, using my own power as a crutch and essentially hindering God.
So I wanted to say I am sorry.
I am sorry, dear family and friends, for getting overwhelmed by the fundraising madness and forgetting to share my story with you.
I am sorry for all the nights I was up crafting my next big scheme while I could have been meeting with you and spending time with you.
I am sorry for not taking time to rejoice at God’s provision, and smile at His little daily blessings.
I am truly, deeply sorry.
Thank you for bearing with me while I navigate this fundraising journey, because it really is a journey. Thank you for being the vessel through which my faith was built, my relationship with God was strengthened, and my heart was challenged.
Thank you for having faith in me, but even more so, thank you for having faith in God, and trusting Him in all you do.
You have chosen to partner with me on this amazing journey, and I do not take that lightly.
The Kingdom of God is united in an amazing way. It is a web of brothers and sisters with devoted to the same cause that link arms with those around them and support each other. It is the body of Christ, and when one part of the body is blessed, we all are blessed.
I am so deeply humbled by all the support you have given me and all that you are continuing to give. THANK YOU.
My eyes have been opened. I have 12,000 dollars to go on this fundraising journey, but I am believing that God will provide every single cent of that money, not by MY own will to fundraise efficiently, but by HIS will to provide for me.
I cannot thank you enough for your prayers and support! YOU ROCK.
