“So are you bringing your guitar on the Race?” The age old question.
I taught myself how to play the guitar a couple of years ago. I didn’t know how to play much, so I decided not to bring my guitar on the Race. The thought of being expected to lead worship or play for others terrified me, I didn’t play everyday, and I didn’t want to carry it around the world. Leaving my guitar at home was definitely the right decision, right?
Definitely NOT
I never realized it, but playing the guitar was my special time with the Lord. I didn’t play all the time, but when I did play, I usually learned new worship songs and sat with my music-loving kitty. This usually happened after long hard days or weeks, and I always emerged from these jam sessions feeling rejuvenated and joyful. My guitar got me through some tough seasons of life, and I had underestimated how much these times meant to me. I had forgotten how I had seen the Lord through those times.
As I began the Race, I found myself regretting the decision to leave my guitar at home. My team didn’t have any musical instruments with us, so worship was often just singing. This was great because my team sings like angels when we all sing together (#blessed) but I was still missing my guitar. I also had more down time than I thought I would last month, and I could have really improved my skills. But alas, I had no guitar. Since beginning all squad month in Nicaragua, the longing has only increased. I have many musical squadmates who love to play, and I was often sad that I couldn’t join.
The story of my life has always revolved around Psalm 139 and being known by the Lord. I know this chapter in the Bible through and through, but I’ve always had a little trouble fully believing that the Lord TRULY sees me and wants to speak with me. My prayer for the Race so far has been that the Lord would truly meet with me and speak to me. I’ve had some trouble discerning His voice, but it’s been getting clearer and clearer. As all squad month has progressed, however, I’ve found myself doubting that I’m seen because it’s a little overwhelming to be with 46 other people constantly.
Despite this internal struggle, the Lord has been so good to me this month. Through a random series of events, one of my squamates has given me her guitar for free! She said that she brought it to give it away, and that she was more than happy to give it to me. What in the world?! What are the chances that such a thing would happen? It’s pretty bizarre, but I truly believe that the Lord sent that guitar with my squadmate to be a blessing to me. He knows how important our guitar time together is. He truly knows me. Wow.
The day after I got the guitar, I was stressed out. It had been a long day of pouring out, and I found myself desperate to be filled. I headed to my secret spot on the compound under a tree and played my little heart out. Low and behold, I was taken right back to those times at my house. It felt like the Lord was sitting beside me listening, and I just felt like I was being filled to the brim with the Lord’s goodness. The Lord knew I needed that guitar. The Lord knew that I needed to meet Him in our special place with our special guitar time. The Lord knows me.
Today, I’m thankful for a God who takes the time to get to know every single one of us. I’m thankful that He knows my needs and desires even before I do. Lastly, I’m thankful that I have a God who provides endlessly. Nicaragua has been a great month, and the Lord’s presence is all over the place. I’m also looking forward to more jam sessions with my Father.
Thank you for knowing me, Jesus.
Jor
