O Lord, You have searched me and You know me. You know when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, You know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in– behind and before; You have laid your hand upon me.
Psalm 139:1-5
Last night, as I was getting ready to go to bed, I came across an article on Facebook. This was a seemingly random “did you know” article, so I just opened it to see what the fuss was about. It talked about how some messages are filtered if they come from people that you aren’t friends with, but there’s a way to open these and see the filtered messages from years past. I thought the concept was funny, so I decided to give it a try.
As I read through some of the messages, most of them seemed relatively unimportant. Some were random people messaging me about a ticket to a concert that I was selling during my freshman year, some were spam messages, but there were two that stuck out to me. One was from a girl who had messaged me before I came to Clemson. She said that her YoungLife leader knew me somehow (I still have no clue how), and that she was wondering if we could chat and maybe become roommates if we meshed. The other was from a girl who had rushed me as I was looking to join a sorority. This girl really hit it off with me during rush, and I quickly fell in love with her sorority because of this conversation. She told me that after rush was over she wanted to stay in contact with me, no matter which sorority I ended up choosing. After rush ended, I was a little mad that I was not asked to join her sorority (which isn’t her fault), so I was a little angry when she asked to be my friend on Facebook but didn’t reach out. Little did I know that in the message, she was reaching out to me to see if we could meet up for lunch. She was sincere and she did want to be friends, but I never knew.
Okay Jordie, why is this even relevant?
These two messages, these two interactions with random people that I have never talked to, could have changed my life. If I had seen that message from the would-have-been roommate, I could have lived in a different dorm. I could have fallen into a different crowd my freshman year. I could have been involved in different clubs and activities. And if I had seen the message from that other girl, I could have had a friend and a “wise senior” to help guide me through my freshman year. I could have had someone at Clemson to help me see past the gigantic waves that I faced during my freshman year. I could have had someone to keep me accountable. Or maybe my life would just be the same. Maybe I would have clashed with that girl and we wouldn’t have worked as roomies. Maybe I didn’t have as many things in common with that girl as I thought upon first meeting. My head was exploding with the possibilities that these two simple interactions could have completely changed my college life. Maybe for the better? Maybe for the worse?
Lately, I’ve been reflecting over my years at Clemson. I’ve been thinking about all of the people that I have met here and all of the experiences that I’ve had. College has been some of the best years of my life, but they have definitely been some of the hardest. Honestly, I had it made in high school. I had great friends who I had known for such a long time, I was involved in a variety of clubs and extracurriculars, I was with my parents who love and take care of me so well, and I had an amazing church and youth group that held me up, but my faith wasn’t real. I had never been seriously challenged in my faith and I had the naive faith of a child. This wasn’t a problem necessarily, but I couldn’t stand firmly on what I believed. When I came to college, I came to a place that I was unfamiliar with, a place where I had no friends, and I faced some things that I never even thought I would have to face in my lifetime. I faltered because I didn’t really know who I was in Christ.
Looking back lately, I’ve had some regrets. I can think of many people that I let slip out of my life that I wish were still around, and I can definitely think of other “things I should have done.” However, I let these opportunities slip away. For the past few weeks, I’ve let myself fall into those regrets, but now I see something else. I see the specific people and situations that God put in my life to help me and keep me going. I see the weird circumstances that affirmed and shaped my faith. I see the tests and trials that molded me into the person I am today. I see God’s hand in my life crystal clear.
This bizarre situation brought me to worship right there in my bed. God knows me. He sees ME. He knew what my life would have been like through every single twist and turn, and He steers me in the right direction every single time.
Ever since 7th grade, Psalm 139 has been the one Bible passage that pops up everywhere. I hear it in sermons, I see it on posters, I flip my Bible open to it randomly, and my 7th grade English teacher, Mrs. Hargrove made us memorize it in class. Ever since then, it has never left my mind, and I bring it up to others every chance I get. I even made my 9th grade small group girls memorize it over the summer! But last night, when I looked back over my college experience, I saw that Psalm become a reality. God has me right where He wants me, and it’s absolutely astounding that the God who made the universe takes the time to know me and walk with me. To know when I sit and when I rise. To know every single word before it even enters my mind. To plan my path in a loving and wise direction, even when I don’t want to listen. Even just thinking about it brings me to worship right at this second!! I do believe that God saved those messages for me to see at that very moment, so that He could reel me back in like He always does. (:
I’m so thankful to have a God that sees me, knows me, and points me in the right direction (somehow). I’m also thankful to have a God that speaks to me through everyday circumstances.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14
I hope that you find the time to praise Him today because He knows and guides you too!! (:
Jordie
