These past few months have been really crazy. I ended my World Race in November. I was a team leader the last four months and God was refining me Big Time. The picture He gave me was that I was walking with Him through a dark tunnel and there was light eventually on the other side. But He wasn’t telling me when I was going to get out of it. So I got to my final debrief in Vietnam. We were a few days from heading back to North America and God spoke to me.
He said, “Okay Jordan, you’re out of the tunnel now”.
I was confused. “Are you sure God?”
“Umm, Yes”.
I figured I would continue that season for a while after I got back. It was a season of God working on a lot of my brokenness and pride. I was learning that we as humans, have a sinful nature and it takes a process to rid ourselves of it. God refines us a little bit at a time. But it depends on us how much we want to let Him in. I could have let Him reveal the pride in my life and then never deal with it. Or after He exposes it, I can fall to my knees in repentance and change my wicked ways.
I chose to deal with a lot of my crap during those last few months. When I got back home, I was in a different season. I was able to pour out to people at home in awesome ways. The focus wasn’t on me as much as it was on others during that time. God opened my eyes to see how I can influence others and equip them for ministry.
And then I moved to Calgary. And God had yet another season for me. This was a season of Faith. Now, of course every season we go through requires some amount of faith, but God was wanting me to take things a lot more serious and go to a deeper level of intimacy and trust in Him. A good definition of faith is found in Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”. So believing and acting on things we cannot see. I say acting on because faith requires action.
God provided a place for me to stay in Calgary for free and also groceries included. This was/is a huge blessing for me! I thought I was going to be finding a job and working until the fall when I will begin school for agriculture, but I soon learned, God had other plans. He was inviting me to step out of a boat and walk on water with Him. He called me to do full time evangelism and to be a missionary in Calgary.
One hard part about this was that I have a lot of debt from student loans and credit card debt. Read blog HERE to learn how that came to be. So I was going to have no income at all by doing this and no way of paying this debt off. I had the choice to say “yes” or “no” to it. I chose yes and stepped out of the boat. I fixed my eyes on Jesus. I was excited, yet nervous of how long I would be able to stand on the water for. I have never really stepped out in this kind of faith before.
After a few days of this, I began seeing the wind and the waves. What that looked like in my life was thoughts of moving back home to Grande Prairie and getting a job. It would be so easy. My brother even offered me a job siding houses with him at one point. I could go back home, live for free there and have lots of friends and family to take care of me. But God said, “Stay in Calgary”. So I took another step on the water and trusted Him. I kept my gaze on him and ignored those waves.
Then God called me further from the boat by calling me to squad lead a World Race trip to the 10/40 window. It was making sense to me why He didn’t let me get a job. This trip is leaving around March 30th. Less than 2 months from when I signed up. It requires fundraising again and I just got done with a big trip. Would people still give to me? Is 2 months enough time to support raise? Is this wise? Again, I heard God’s invitation to come further from the boat. So I said “Yes” and took another step.
I was beginning to think I had this whole walking on water stuff figured out. I saw more waves of possible other jobs or getting settled here in Calgary, but I kept looking at Jesus. Each step away from the boat felt so freeing. I was doing it! I was finally doing it! I wanted to live by faith like this for so long, but always had fear of failure. But here I was doing it! Or…so I thought.
As I was praying the other night, God gave me the picture of me waking on the water. But this time I saw something I never saw before. I saw me walking on the water with Jesus in front of me. But I had a life jacket on. And not just that, the life jacket was attached to a rope that was attached to the boat!
Here I was, so proud of myself for walking on water. I was “living by faith”. But God showed me that although I was waking on water and trusting Him in a lot of ways, I still had parts of my life that I wasn’t trusting Him in. There are areas that I am not taking the risk of drowning. He is calling me to “simple” obedience. He invites me into His abundant life every day. He gives me opportunities every day to step out in faith and trust Him. I can either say “Yes” or “No” to these invitations. Most times I say “No”. Sure, I’ve been saying “Yes” in some big things, but in a lot of the little things, I’ve been mostly saying “No”.
Hebrews 11:6a says, “And without faith it is impossible to please God”.
Wait, is God really telling us that we can’t please Him unless we have faith?
The verse continues “…because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him”.
God is all about faith. In order to believe in Him and have relationship with Him, it requires faith. We are saved by our faith. We also get to live this abundant life with Him by faith. It’s about taking our focus off the things that are seen and trusting in Him who is unseen. He is pleased when we do this. He loves it when His children trust in Him. Like a little kid at a pool jumping into his daddy’s arms, He loves when we take the risk because He knows the joy that it brings us.
So here I am, wanting so badly to live by faith, no strings attached. But God revealed that I had a rope attached and a life jacket. Yet again, I hear my Fathers invitation, “Take those off and take another step with Me”. So I chose to say “Yes” yet again. I’m taking off these safety devices and going further from the boat. I choose to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, because He is my only chance of making it now.
I don’t know what these next 2 months hold in store for me, but I believe it’s going to be big. One of my favorite verses is from David in Psalm 37:25-26 “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be blessed”.
I hold on to this promise that I will not be forsaken and even in this time of having less, I will be generous and lend freely. People around me will be blessed through me. As I delight in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart. I’m choosing a bigger measuring cup for Him to fill. I don’t want the bare minimum. I want more than enough so I can continue being generous on all occasions. My Father knows my heart and delights in what I’m asking for. All He asks is my obedience.
So I’m going to choose to obey Him and watch miracles come flooding in. I probably won’t be perfect and will probably say “No” to some things. But I want to change that ratio to saying “Yes” more than saying “No”.
I can use your prayers as this battle is not against flesh and blood. It’s a big spiritual battle and I need all the Warriors with me as I can get. If you would like specific prayer requests sent to you, please message me and I will add you to my list. Watch what God will do through our prayers! It’s going to be exciting!
Your daring brother in Christ,
Jordan Tarant
