I wanted to share with people about my journey in porn addiction. I’ve come along way and have received so much freedom over the years and I want to encourage anyone struggling with porn addiction and let you know that there is hope. You don’t have to be stuck forever. I hope my walk can encourage people to keep going and fight for purity.
The story begins when I was 12 years old. I got addicted to Sears magazines looking at the lingerie section. It progressed from there and eventually got to looking at completely naked women on the Internet. It was dial up at that time and required much patience. But I was so desperate, I waited for each photo to load. (I definitely grew in patience through this, haha)
For many years I never told anyone and finally I cried out to God praying, “God! I need help! What do I do?!?!” I heard Him tell me to tell one of my youth leaders. So after months of living in fear of that, I finally told him. It was as if a huge weight was lifted off of me. But 2 weeks later I was back at it.
Eventually I cried out again and this time He told me to tell my youth pastor. I went to him and shared with him where I was at and he suggested that he disciple me. It’s exactly what I needed and we began to meet weekly. He mentored me for 2 years and then I went to Bible College for 3 years.
In high school I was looking at porn and masturbating almost daily. When I began getting mentored and had someone helping me, it was once every couple weeks. In Bible college I was looking around every 2 months. I then went on the Race and went on the longest streak without looking which was 6 months! In the past 3 years, I have looked at porn a handful of times.
You may be wondering why I’m sharing this with you.
You see, it has taken me many years to figure out that life is not meant to be lived by myself and me fighting on my own. The more people I had in my life helping me is synonymous with how well I am resisting sin and living in a healthy relationship with God. I learned that I am weak in my own strength. I tried for so long to work with God and God alone to beat this addiction. But the truth is that we were never meant to fight sin by ourselves. I thought I could do it. I strived and strained but it got me no further.
Freedom came when I admitted to God AND brothers in Christ that I couldn’t beat this addiction. Every time I got to a place of brokenness, there were people around me to help me. I heard a quote recently that says, “You will only be as Free as you are honest“. I have found this to be so true in my life.
There is so much I want to say about this subject, but due to not making this a crazy, long blog, I won’t.
If you are struggling with any sin in your life, I encourage you to find people who you can go to for help. Be honest with them. Humble yourself and admit you can’t do it on your own. Stop trying to do it by yourself or with just God. You need others and they need you.
If you have any questions about more of my story or want to know other ways to combat porn addiction/sin, I’d love to make myself available to you. Private message me on Facebook Messenger or email me at [email protected]
I am no longer overseas and have finished this trip, but I am still not fully funded. If you feel led to make a donation, you can do so by clicking the donate button. Thanks!
