Hey friends and family, I wanted to update you on my life from the past few months and share what my next few may look like.
After I got back from Vietnam, I spent 1 week in Arizona with my mom, my friend Olivia and her mom. We stayed at their vacation house with a pool and hot tub. It was quite different from what we were used to. I spent the whole week resting and processing the past year.
I went over a journal I had written and discovered something big about me. One of the questions this journal asked was “What broke your heart this month?” As I read over my answers to that question for each month, I noticed a similar theme. This theme was that “religion” breaks my heart. I hate powerless and relationless form and structure. So many of the places I went to had great intentions, but lacked some key characteristics that relate to God. Jesus set an amazing example of a life with power and a life in relationship with God and others. When I look at the average Sunday morning churches, I see a big lack in these areas. I don’t know how many different churches I have been to in my life, but I have come to dislike a lot of things I see. (Or fail to see). I don’t think we need to destroy all church buildings or anything crazy like that, but I do believe that believers and nonbelievers need to know that humans are the church, not the building. I think we need to add more relationship and power, and gather more than 2 hours a week. I have a growing passion inside me for people to have real encounters with God and be set free from their life of sin, disease, debt, etc… I plan to give my life for this cause.
So upon returning to Canada, I was refreshed and ready to go. I hit the ground running and had a one on one with friends nearly every day in December. It was really busy, but so good. I found it to be the most fruitful month of the year. I got to pour into so many people at home and get poured into as well.
In January I moved down to Calgary to begin a new life. All throughout 2015, God put Calgary on my heart and the thought of moving there got stronger and stronger, but I wasn’t sure why. Eventually God spoke and said to Go to school in the fall for agriculture. So I had some answer for the “why”, but I didn’t know what I was going to be doing in between January and September.
I went down to Georgia for a week to go to a debrief for the World Race called Project Searchlight (PSL). They focus on reentry and help you figure out what is next in life. We went through these culture shocks and life changing times, but what comes next? I was seeking that myself when I was there. I figured I would go back to Calgary and get a job, work until September and then start school. But God had other plans.
I got back, made a resume and began handing them out. No one was hiring. So many people in Calgary are getting laid off right now. (Bad time to look for work! That’s okay, God knows what He’s doing) After handing out resumes, I had no peace about what I was doing. I thought it may have been just because I was uncomfortable with talking to people or something. But that wasn’t it. I then got a prophetic word from my brother that said, “Don’t just hand out resumes aimlessly. God has something specific for you. Seek Him to know what His heart is and what He has for you”. One of the big lessons I learned at PSL was that I often seek God for a piece of knowledge rather than just seeking His heart for things. And even if I am just seeking God for God, I often do so with a hidden agenda of getting some piece of knowledge. So I was learning to simply just seek God for God.
It was taking a couple of days and I was starting to get impatient. “Umm, God, I don’t have any work…I’m not sure if you’re aware, but I kind of need money”. He ignored my whining and kept inviting me into His presence. Then one day I went for a walk to clear my mind and get some fresh air. I walked past many people and Holy Spirit gave me a nudge of invitation to speak to them. I kept saying “no” with my actions by walking past them. I even walked past a lady with crutches and God was like, “Can we go pray for her?” To which I responded “Nope”. I was allowing fear of man to control me, rather than the Spirit of God.
After I got back from the walk, God lead me to read through some notes on my iPod. I wrote down a lot of things God speaks to me and prophetic words others have gotten for me. I also had notes from a book called “The Price of God’s Miracle Working Power”. It was all about how if you want to do the miracles Jesus did, you need to be willing to suffer like He did. Take up your cross daily, die to yourself and act on what you see the Father doing. I realized through reading all these things that although I was doing what God was leading me to do in coming to Calgary, I was still not fully following Him. I had not yet died to my own flesh and fears, other wise I would be saying Yes to Him when He invited me to talk to a person on the streets. I realized I needed to overcome this fear to fully enter into all that God has for me.
During this time God gave me another invitation. In its simplest form, He was inviting me to be a full time evangelist/missionary in Calgary. Calgary is very multicultural and has people from all over the world here. I don’t even have to leave to tell people of another race about Jesus. They are all at my doorstep. I was very unsettled about this invitation because it meant facing my fear of man. When I was younger I had the excuse that I didn’t know enough about the gospel to evangelize (which was a weak excuse). But since going to Bible College and having lots of experience this past year, I really had no excuses at all. My choices are either face my fear and overcome it with Jesus, or run from it and come back to it later on in life. I chose to accept the invitation and say “Yes” to God and “Yes” to overcoming my fears.
Since this has happened (about a week ago), I have not spoken to any strangers about Jesus yet. I am still determined to do so and beat this thing. I can have lots of confidence when I am with others, but when I’m by myself, that’s when I fear most. I was at a young adults night where there was Muslim guy and we got to discuss what we believe, so that was awesome.
Another thing going on in my life is an opportunity for me to lead a missions trip with the World Race. It’s a position called Squad Leader and I would be leading a group of around 24 young adults for 5 months. I applied and had an interview, but I haven’t received an official “Yes” yet. If I do get accepted, I will be leaving the end of March. (So 2 months away!!!) If that’s the case, I will be fundraising and evangelizing for the next 2 months then leaving for 5 months and returning to begin school in September for Agriculture. So crazy! But I know my Father is behind it all and taking care of me.
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. My email is [email protected] or message me on Facebook.
A child of God,
Jordan Tarant
