Someone asked me the other day asked me if I was in college. This question made me panic. If I said no and told them what I was actually doing they might think less of me, that I’m just going away for 9 months and then coming back and having no plans, no further education, and no future. Maybe they would think that I am not a hard worker and that I would work in some dead end job; my mind raced.
I told them I dropped out of college. I told them I’m a college drop out.
I never thought I would hear myself say those words, but it’s the truth. It was never the original plan for my life, I always thought I would graduate from high school, go straight to college and then graduate from there and have a family. God has a funny way of ruining our plans for the better.
When I graduated from high school I did go straight to online college. I hated every second of it. I was constantly stressed, anxious, tired, and all around a big mess. I felt like I was always doing school, I went straight through the summer and skipped any breaks I might have taken if I actually went to college. There were probably two classes I enjoyed over all, but that was it. I ended up changing my degree a few times before I realized all I actually wanted to do was be a farmer, a stay at home mom, and a missionary, which really requires NO college education. I went from a business degree, to a psychology degree and finally a degree in agriculture.
My mom had always expected to go to college like she did. To her it was unheard of that you wouldn’t go to college. How would I be a successful citizen in this world without a college degree? During the year and a half I was in college, it was always a struggle between us whether I should stay enrolled or not. After that year and a half she had finally come to the understating that I needed an indefinite break, as long as I serve God whole heartedly I didn’t need my degree.
I ended up finishing one year worth of college courses which she asked of me. The second I was done with my final class, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. It was the best feeling in the world. Instead of college I worked full time, I loved it and still am. I have had the best jobs ever. I have opportunities to work in areas that interest me and give me experience and knowledge in the field I love.
Now, I’m not writing this to say that everyone shouldn’t go to college or that college is the worst thing in the world, it’s not; It just wasn’t what God had planned for me. Instead of college, God had other things for me. If I hadn’t dropped out I might still be in a bad place, I might not be pursuing the gifts God gave me, I might not be serving Him the way He made me to. At the end of my life I want to look back and see that I loved on the people God put in front of me and I served where He called me, not that I ignored it all to get a college education. It’s funny how God works things out because two of my good friends have also dropped out of college. One is engaged and works full-time teaching violin and taking care of kids and the other works full-time at a hardware/interior design place and is taking a course to be an interior designer. Both of them love Jesus with all of their hearts and they are using their gifts for God’s glory.
So here I am, a college drop out, serving the way God made me to. At my current jobs I get to work with kids, some in good homes and some not. I get to love on these kids every day and tell them how much Jesus loves them. I get the opportunity to travel and tell people from other parts of the world about Jesus for 9 whole months! I don’t have any plans for when I get home, I honestly have no idea what I’m doing. I’m just learning to take it one step at a time, taking it day by day and letting God lead my life.
Right now this is where he has me and I’m loving every second of it.
