“I am not enough” is what I find myself telling myself a lot recently and it’s something I’ve struggled with for a very long time. Before the race, I didn’t know why I struggled with it. But as I have spent more time with the Lord, I have been able to see where some of these roots have come from.
It’s a constant battle in my head and heart about being enough. It’s painful. It’s painful to recognize that in Christ is the only place that I need to be enough, to be secure. What the world thinks doesn’t matter, what other people think doesn’t matter. It’s hard because the world is so visible and God doesn’t always seem to be visible. Sometimes I just want God to pick up the pen for me and just write why I am enough. But He doesn’t. Instead, He had my friend, Amanda, write it.
Amanda and I talked about being enough before the race and she shared something she wrote about it. I remember taking a picture of it because it hit me so hard. Over the past eight months, I have continually gone back to what she has wrote. It has been a constant reminder of how I am enough in Christ.
enough
by Amanda Beguerie
Alone, I have to be enough.
With nothing, I have to be enough.
With no one else, I have to be enough.
Why? Because Jesus is in me, and He is enough.
Because He alone is the bringer of joy, and hope, and peace —
and I need to be able to confidently say,
if nothing goes my way in my life,
He is still good and I will be okay.
I need to be filled with joy even if my life is filled with pain and disappointment,
I need to live a life of hope,
Because my hope is not in the world,
but in Christ.
I need to be able to say that I have enough —-
that I am worth enough.
That Jesus in my soul is more than abundantly enough.
The most amazing this in the world is that Jesus died for me.
And my heart needs to be at total peace, saying,
“I belong to Him. ”
