This is a letter I wrote to my older brother who has special needs one night. It was written in my journal all scribbled, so if it doesn’t make sense, maybe I can try to explain it better at a later time.
Written 10/4/18
Dear John,
Today it was raining so my team didn’t walk to the care point to take care of he kids. Instead, the whole squad back at the compound and worshiped, listened to a message, spent time prayer, and did work around the compound. The message that my squad and I listened to was on receiving and giving the kingdom. The message was based off of Matthew 8, where Jesus preforms all of these amazing miracles. For the lack of explain “receiving the Kingdom” clearly, it was explained through worship and faith. The question, “Is faith connected to healing?“, came up. The speaker answered that you can have all the faith in the world, but never be healed. This started to lead me on a trail of thoughts about you. The message went into more detail about faith, miracles, and healing. God can heal whoever He wants whoever He wants, but is He willing to work through us to do it and/or simply do it Himself. This led me to think and ask some questions, can God heal you?Is a lack of faith to or doubt on my part that God never will? I know if God wanted to make you walk, talk, and have a full brain He would, I do believe that. But to be honest I do not think He will. So that’s the question, is it a lack of faith not to believe that or is just the way it is? I do believe that God can and will heal you of your manic episodes and repeating yourself and not being able to hold a conversation. I talked with a leader about this and she had no answer for me. She does not have siblings with special needs and honestly even if she did, it’s a hard question to grasp. But I remembered my squad mate, Sam, has a brother with cerebral palsy. So I asked him. He has a lot of wisdom to give. He explained so well to the point I was in tears. John, God will never fully heal you. God made you the way you are for a reason. You are more forgiving, joyful, kind and loving than anyone I know. I believe that by you being you, you have taught and shown people the love of Christ. God is using you in your earthly body for His heavenly mission. You have taught me so much. Without you I would not be where I am today. God made you fully you for a reason. You are not missing anything less than anyone else, because God made you that way. You are showing people the love of Jesus as you are. I know things are hard, I’m sure you don’t love taking pills, being in pain, having to be dressed, fed, bathed, and watched over all the time. That can’t be easy. Sam explained it this way, if you live 60 years in this body and are never healed, that’s ok. In heaven, your being will be made perfect. You served God in the way He made you on earth. I am confident I will see you in heaven and I am sure there will be people there with strong faith because of you. I believe God will heal you, just not in the way the world s expecting. I am so grateful you are in my life, buddy. I miss you and love you so incredibly much.
See you soon,
Jordan Louise
