“If, then, you are ever tempted to think that we modern Western Europeans cannot really be so bad because we are, comparatively speaking, humane—if, in other words, you think God might be content with us on that ground—ask yourself whether you think God ought to have been content with the cruelty of cruel ages because they excelled in chastity or courage.” – C.S. Lewis, the Problem of Pain
The Lord is calling me to be virtuous in virtues outside of just kindness (I’m not even sure that kindness is a virtue so much as a good thing to be or do); to be temperate, courageous, self-controlled, disciplined, not slothful, nor cruel. It’s not that I’m not these comparatively, but comparisons aren’t a good way of actually measuring growth or standing. The only being we should be compared to is Christ, in terms of how closely we resemble Christ versus where we still need transformation, and in comparison to Him I know that I do fall very short. This isn’t in a self-condemning way. I don’t feel guilty, but I’m recognizing areas of growth. And I feel a call to step into manhood in these areas.
C.S. Lewis considered it necessary for all the virtues to exist for any to exist, “if, being cowardly, conceited and slothful, you have not yet done a fellow creature great mischief, that is only because your neighbor’s welfare has not yet happened to conflict with your safety, self-approval, or ease.” I think in a lot of ways kindness is largely mental and emotional. If we can consciously think of what we’re doing, we’ll likely do the right thing—this is at least usually true in my own life. But perseverance and self-control, discipline is character. It’s a willingness to go through sharp pains or slow burns for we ought to do. And without these, kindness only exists when it’s easy.
Our greatest commandment as Christians is to love the Lord, our God, and to love our neighbors. But love is much more than kindness. Without being temperate and self-controlled, perseverant and strong in truth, it’s impossible to love well or consistently. This is what the Lord’s calling me into. It’s good, but it also kinda sucks. It isn’t just a concept or truth to grasp, but it’s an actual way of life to walk into. Character is built through trials and pain, so I’d expect to have to walk through those in some form. At the very least, I must not fear walking through those. I’m reminded of Romans 5: “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” I’m reminded also of Psalm 66: “for you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let people ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but You brought us to a place of abundance.”
I’m not asking for pain and trials, nor speaking that over myself. But I do want to be transformed into the kind of man who gladly walks through fire and water when it leads to a place of abundance—regardless of what form that abundance may take. I’m pursuing that kind of transformation.
